The 10 Types Of Jerks Who Make Supermarket Shopping Hell

3. The Fruit Wrecker

Is there anything worse than shoppers who crush the life out of tomatoes and avocados in their quest for the perfect one? Or the klutz that knocks half a dozen apples on the floor, bruising them to buggery, then helpfully puts them back so you’re the lucky one who buys them a couple of minutes later before the damage has really set in?

4. The Ditherer

So you get to the deli and all you want is a handful of lunch meat so that the little darlings have something slightly more substantial than Home Brand jam between their slices of bread tomorrow. And there she is: the Nanna with all the time in the world, yakking away with the deli staff and vacillating between whether she wants 47 grams of strass, chicken loaf or devon in addition to the two tiny scraps of shaved ham she made them weigh and half a cocktail frankfurt to keep her going for the next fortnight. You will likely become a fossil while waiting for her to finish.

5. The Ignoramus

Just the other day, my other half was standing in front of the egg fridge, waiting until he’d decided on the variety of eggs he wanted to buy before opening the fridge. From out of nowhere, a moron wheeled her cart RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM to do the same thing, almost as though he was invisible and not standing there looking at the egg fridge.  He waited for about a minute, then went to work. The look on her face when he shoved her trolley out of the way with his hip and stepped in front of her with a bright, “Excuse me!” was priceless.