Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table.
Chuck Norris once urinated into a semi’s petrol tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
Chuck Norris protects his bodyguards.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing is underpants on the outside of his pants.
Google won’t’ search for Chuck Norris because it knows that you don’t find Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds you.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn’t have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands. Now they are pregnant.
Chuck Norris can walk on water. He’s not a God, the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
Chuck Norris is danger’s middle name.
Bacon’s favourite smell is Chuck Norris.
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride, and accident won the Tour de France.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as ‘You Know Who’.
Chuck Norris can make scissors beat rock.
Chuck Norris donated his heart to a hospital – twice.
The Statue of Liberty is alive, but Chuck Norris told her not to move.
When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Chuck Norris symbol.