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100 Most Epic Chuck Norris Jokes

7 min read
100 Most Epic Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.

Chuck Norris’s blood type is AK-47.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

100 Most Epic Chuck Norris Jokes | Stay At Home Mum
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Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse.  Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris invented black.  In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light.  Except pink.  Tom Cruise invented pink.

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

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Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.

Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard, and skewered three men through the heart with it.

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin’ about!

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.  It doesn’t have nearly enough balls.

100 Most Epic Chuck Norris Jokes | Stay At Home Mum
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Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes.  They taste like chicken.

Everyone loves Raymond.  Except Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris goes out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.

Chuck Norris’s beard can type at 140wpm.

Chuck Norris doesn’t get up in the morning, put on his boots and gets ready for work.  He gets up expecting his boots to already be on whilst his work gets ready for him.

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On his 16th birthday, Chuck Norris turned 21 and could legally drink.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Alcohol has a Chuck Norris problem.

In space, Chuck Norris can hear you scream.

The dinosaurs crossed Chuck Norris once.  Once!

100 Most Epic Chuck Norris Jokes | Stay At Home Mum
via giphy

There is no Ctrl button on Chuck Norris’ keyboard.  Chuck Norris is always in control.

Behind Chuck Norris’ beared there is no chin, there is only another fist.

Chuck Norris can eat a Rubix cube, and crap it out solved.

Do you have more jokes that know Chuck Norris?

100 Most Epic Chuck Norris Jokes

About Author

Jody Allen

Jody is the founder and essence of Stay at Home Mum. An insatiable appetite for reading from a very young age had Jody harbouring dreams of being a pu...Read Moreblished author since primary school. That deep-seeded need to write found its way to the public eye in 2011 with the launch of SAHM. Fast forward 4 years and a few thousand articles Jody has fulfilled her dream of being published in print. With the 2014 launch of Once a Month Cooking and 2015's Live Well on Less, thanks to Penguin Random House, Jody shows no signs of slowing down. The master of true native content, Jody lives and experiences first hand every word of advertorial she pens. Mum to two magnificent boys and wife to her beloved Brendan; Jody's voice is a sure fire winner when you need to talk to Mums. Read Less

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