Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
Chuck Norris’s blood type is AK-47.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard, and skewered three men through the heart with it.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin’ about!
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn’t have nearly enough balls.
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
Everyone loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris goes out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
Chuck Norris’s beard can type at 140wpm.
Chuck Norris doesn’t get up in the morning, put on his boots and gets ready for work. He gets up expecting his boots to already be on whilst his work gets ready for him.
On his 16th birthday, Chuck Norris turned 21 and could legally drink.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Alcohol has a Chuck Norris problem.
In space, Chuck Norris can hear you scream.
The dinosaurs crossed Chuck Norris once. Once!
There is no Ctrl button on Chuck Norris’ keyboard. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Behind Chuck Norris’ beared there is no chin, there is only another fist.
Chuck Norris can eat a Rubix cube, and crap it out solved.