WTF

13 Most Cringe-Worthy Things Kids Have Said

5 min read
13 Most Cringe-Worthy Things Kids Have Said

Children are wonderful in many ways but they all come with a glaring factory defect: a lack of filter.

You might think your babies are such angels but when they start forming words – or worse, repeating what you say – prepare for the worst. Still, be thankful the following kids aren’t yours!

Here are the most cringe-worthy things kids have said.

1. “Her vagina was wet…”

“My daughter announced in a restaurant that her vagina was wet. I wanted to die.”

– IWantALargeFarva

280ac450 52aa 4089 aaa1 497b068c87f3 560 420 | Stay at Home Mum.com.au
Image via Playbuzz

2. “[My son said] What the fuck…”

“An older woman (probably around 70) who worked at a store was talking to my son when he was 2 and gave him a sticker. He said “what the fuck” and her eyes got really big and I was so embarrassed. My husband tried to play it off by saying that he was asking for one with a truck.”

– alkb8213

o9pz6 | Stay at Home Mum.com.au

3. “Stop touching my vagina!”

“One time my uncle innocently tickled my cousin’s thighs in a store to make her laugh when she was a toddler. She did not like this and screamed, “Stop touching my vagina! Needless to say, other shoppers were very concerned.”

– emibozu

images | Stay at Home Mum.com.au
Image via Pony Express Redmond

4. “Daddy! Why is there a monkey in the bank!?”

“It was something my aunt said (I wasn’t alive when this happened), but she grew up in a small town in Ontario, and she was at the bank with her dad (my grandpa) when she was a toddler.

Being the 80s and small town Ontario, there weren’t a lot of black people there and there was a black man in the bank, so she turns to my grandpa and says: “Daddy! Why is there a monkey in the bank!?”

The black man was highly amused by this (or so I have been told)”

– RAND0M-HER0

well this is awkward meme | Stay at Home Mum.com.au

5. “TUSHIES AREN’T FOR SPANKING. THEY’RE FOR POOPING!”

“It was something I said at the age of two. I was being obnoxious in a restaurant and my parents threatened to “spank me on the tushy” if I didn’t settle down.

In response, I stood tall and yelled back:

“TUSHIES AREN’T FOR SPANKING. THEY’RE FOR POOPING!”

The restaurant went silent, and then came the voice of a nearby patron:

“…well, he’s right about that!”

– introversed

b8f4c7b2c5ababa5004df14ef7e62866 | Stay at Home Mum.com.au

6. “You got babies in there?”

“When my little cousin was three, we went to a family friend’s wedding. The bride was a very, very large woman, and at the reception, my cousin walked up to her, patted her stomach with both hands, and asked her, “You got babies in there?”

After a BEYOND awkward silence, the bride laughed it off and just said, “No sweetie, that’s all me,” and walked away to talk to other guests. We all just stood there and stared at each other for a solid five minutes…..”

– haleyann906

images 1 | Stay at Home Mum.com.au

7. “…Mommy goes poopy in her underpants.”

“When I was three, I loudly told the waitress at our table that my “mommy goes poopy in her underpants.” Not sure where this came from, but my mom and dad were mortified and bring it up often.”

– huemanateee

gavin | Stay at Home Mum.com.au
Image via Know your meme

8. “ARE WE GONNA GO SWORD FIGHT WITH OUR PEE PEES?!”

“Father taking his son to the bathroom in a restaurant when his son exclaims: “ARE WE GONNA GO SWORD FIGHT WITH OUR PEE PEES?!” Dad looked like he wanted to evaporate.”

– drumlinegirl

images 2 | Stay at Home Mum.com.au

9. “…look at that freak of nature!”

“My friend’s little cousin who was about 5 at the time, pointed at an overweight old woman with a cane who was trying to navigate some stairs and shouted “look at that freak of nature!”

– PippyLongSausage

73f17bd7fbbc1ad8f474c04ed4b37c45 | Stay at Home Mum.com.au

10. “My daddy touches me” or “Me and daddy have a secret”

“My mate as a 6-7yr old kid use to run around telling all the adults “My daddy touches me” or “Me and daddy have a secret”…

I could only imagine the old mans embarrassment.”

– scrubdonkey

images 3 | Stay at Home Mum.com.au

11. “Mommy’s private is so hairy!”

“Mommy’s private is so hairy!” I pretended that I didn’t hear anything, as the woman, my friend, seemed shocked at her toddler.”

– Zer0_Sanity

2osstf | Stay at Home Mum.com.au

12. “I LOVE PENIS

“My sister went to a child’s birthday party last weekend and texted me to tell me that a little boy attending the party (aged around 4-5) yelled out “I LOVE PENIS” whilst all the kids and parents were sitting around the party table eating their cake.

Apparently, the mother of said child looked horrified.”

– Beccy477

unnamed | Stay at Home Mum.com.au

13. “Are you a boy or a girl?”

“Checking out at a clothing store, my daughter asked the cashier “are you a boy or a girl?” Silence. No response.

When we left the store, she asked again if the cashier was a boy or a girl. I told her the cashier was a girl.

The truth? I didn’t know.”

– elocin_88

14608107 1180665285312703 1558693314 n | Stay at Home Mum.com.au

What’s the most cringe-worthy thing your child has said in public? Let us know!

13 Most Cringe-Worthy Things Kids Have Said | Stay at Home Mum

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