Weddings are every couple’s special day — and no one should EVER ruin it.
The couple just perfected everything in their wedding plan — and then their big day arrives. Sure, some things may go out of hand, a little tweaks here and there, the couple making simple mistakes — but these should never come from you (as their guest).
Amber Harrison, style and etiquette expert for Wedding Paper Divas told The Knot about proper wedding etiquette and wedding planner Amy Shey Jacobs of New York City-based company Chandelier Events shared to the Insider the wedding faux pas that should be avoided.
We’ve compiled all these in a list of wedding etiquette you might want to take a look at first before attending a wedding.
Sometimes, there are things you thought were okay, but were actually not. Don’t make these mistakes!
1. Forgetting to RSVP.
RSVP in wedding invitations are there for a reason. The final head count will help determine the important details of the wedding — from the catering to the favours. So, as a courtesy, reply to the RSVP as soon as possible.
“If you RSVP after the deadline, seating charts and catering may have already been arranged, causing stress and frustration for the couple and their vendors,” Harrison says. “A good rule of thumb is to return the RSVP card immediately or, if there’s no specified deadline, within at least four weeks of receiving it.”
2. Wearing white.
Don’t outshine the bride by wearing white or any hue similar to white such as cream or beige. It’s her day and she should be the star.
3. Throwing trash anywhere.
Throwing trash anywhere is a sign of disrespect. Period.
4. Insulting the food or complaining about it.
If you find that some of the food in the menu lack flavour, or you were allergic to, do not loudly complain about it and never insult the food. Be discreet in saying you’re allergic to the food being served.
5. Wearing something too casual.
Wedding is a formal occasion. So hold off your dazzling mini skirts for a day, and wear something appropriate.
6. Bringing a date the couple won’t like.
When you’re allowed to bring a date, make sure he/she is someone the couple or other important wedding guests likes.
“[Don’t] bring a guest who might make the couple, or other important wedding guests, uncomfortable,” Harrison says. “Do your part to avoid any awkward social situations that might upstage their day.”
7. Getting wasted.
Once the ceremony is done, the open bar is there for the taking, but keep it together. Don’t go drunk all the way and pass out. Know your limits.
“If the event is super long, pace yourself by alternating between a glass of alcohol and then a glass of water,” Harrison says.
8. Stealing the decor.
Those lovely wedding decors are just so adorable, you want to take them home with you. NOT!
“Unless they’ve invited you to take home a centerpiece or piece of décor, the couple has most likely made arrangements to return these details to their florist or rental company,” Harrison says.
9. Trading seats.
The couple have carefully made their seating arrangement so they know where you should sit. So stay there. Trading seats may be interpreted as an insult to the couple.
10. Ignoring the registry and don’t re-gift!
Wedding registries are gift suggestions from the couple so try picking one from the registry. It could actually save you time thinking about what to give the couple, plus your gift will be something the couple will actually use.
“Wedding registries are there to pretty much guarantee that you’re going to buy a gift that they [the bride and groom] are going to want,” Jacobs said.
However, if you really want to give them something out of the wedding registry, customise or personalise it.
“Sometimes a bunch of $10 kitchen gadgets don’t always seem so impressive but you can personalize them by bundling them together and gifting with a monthly meal prep membership,” Jacobs said.
“Get creative and never re-gift! It’s totally obvious.”