Ten years ago, cheating on your spouse meant getting physical with another behind the other partner’s back.
These days though, there are a million different ways couples define infidelity — and you don’t even have to have sex!
Well, this is not a guide to a find a cheating spouse, but only to make you aware of the signs that you need to see if you notice some changes in your partner’s behaviour and you feel like he/she is up to something that could be destructive to your relationship.
The decision is yours… but please, let us know what you think!
1. Emotional affairs
It could be hard to pinpoint and define an emotional affair than a sexual affair because it usually starts out as friendship. So, it is important to see where a friendship crosses the line. Among the signs to look out for are secret texting, secret dates and not being invited to the “friendship” get-together.
It is also difficult for the other partner to identify the affair as something other than friendship. Maybe, they are simply friends, or maybe not. This one you have decide on your own.
2. You were drunk.
If you have sex with someone, while you’re drunk, and wake up thinking what the f*ck have I done? Then maybe you didn’t mean to cheat, but you seriously have to face the music because not telling your partner will only make it worse. Sex is sex people, drunk or not.
3. You were “on a break”.
This is a hard one as it really comes down to the terms of the “break” and whether you have set boundaries, whether you have defined it as just time apart, if you could see other people or that you simply need some extra time to study or work. A good example of this is, is my fav Friend’s stars Ross and Rachel. In one particular episode, they decided to take “a break” meaning exactly that: taking a break from the relationship. Period. So sorry to all your Rachels of the world, Ross was in his right to have sex with another gal…. but maybe not the day after, that was a tad harsh.
4. Having a Tinder profile.
I have had thousands of debates with girlfriends and guy friends about looking at other people while in a committed relationship and what it means to look. Some people want their significant other to never look at other people when with them. Some people want their significant other to never look at other people ever. That’s why Tinder scares me a little, because it’s all about checking out the other species. Saying that, I can definitely see the appeal of killing time on an app where you can get an infusion of consequence-free superficial validation of your hotness. It’s whether the app is being used as fun or as something a little more sinister that you have to worry about.
5. You use Snapchat.
Errrr, I hate Snapchat. Pretty much because anyone can send a photo to your partner and you will never, ever see it. This includes nude selfies and the like. The idea of this app is for people to send funny pictures back and forth, the pictures get deleted after a few seconds and that’s it. For some people, this can be seen as an easy way to make sexual contact with someone else, just send him or her a little cheeky photo just to spark their interest. However, these things can’t really be helped, a part from deleting the app. But if your partner responds to the pics with equally explicit content, then maybe that is cheating. It’s certainly passing a few relationship boundaries anyway.
6. Having an online dating profile.
When you sign up for an online dating profile and talk to people with romantic or sexual intentions while you’re in a relationship, this constitutes cheating. Although talking or emailing or texting someone may not be inherently cheating, if it’s happening on an online dating site means something fishy is going on. If you’re looking for a friend, it doesn’t have to be on a dating site.
7. Kissing someone once.
In the laws of cheating, kissing is technically up there. I know many people who say, “Oh it was just a kiss, not like I had sex or something so it’s not cheating”. But it is never “just a kiss”. The moment when you say, “ it was just a kiss” itself shows your insincerity towards the issue. Behind that kiss is always a desire to hookup or an underlying problem, dissatisfaction or unhappiness in your current relationship, which is built up within and ultimately leads to an action of cheating.