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weve been married for 10 years and my husband recently told me he wants to be "pegged" is this normal is he gay? he says

Answered 1 year ago

weve been married for 10 years and my husband recently told me he wants to be "pegged" is this normal is he gay? he says his not but this was a week ago and i still havent bought it back up yet


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ANSWER
1 year ago
Im a bloke. Yes, he is gay.

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REPLY
1 year ago
^^after all that crap above, one lone voice of reason and truth, thank you Sir.... Listen to this man.

ANSWER
1 year ago
There is a very sensitive area inside the butt, and you can also rub the very base of the c*ck from the inside there. My husband and I have been doing butt stuff on him since we were about 18-19, we're now 32. It doesn't mean he's gay or bi, it means he's getting pleasure from a place that gives pleasure. A woman isn't a lesbian because she likes her breasts or cl*t being played with; they're just erogenous zones.

You could take small steps up to pegging. Do these while you're doing other sexyfun things so you're feeling in the mood:
- rub his butt on the outside, either in the shower or with some lube.
- get a small butt plug (with a flared base!!!! You want something that will stop the plug from accidentally slipping inside the butt, Google something like "safe butt plugs with flared bases" to get an idea of what you're looking for). You could help put it in. He can wear it while he pleasures you.
- get a strap on and appropriate d*ldo but use your hands to move it instead of the harness.
- the whole 9 yards; use the harness and go to town on him.

It's ok to try it and not feel comfortable. Maybe there's some middle ground, if you're giving it an honest try and just really, really can't do it. Middle ground is something like having a butt plug that he inserts (out of your view) so he has it in but you don't have to think about it.

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REPLY
1 year ago
Um, ok. Thanks but way TMI.
Also your hubby probably is gay but it's good you're keeping him happy.
As you are both only 32 he hasn't hit mid life yet. Beware in his late forties will probably come out as gay.
That's what happened to me and others I know. Anyhow, good luck and happy pegging. Wish I'd done that.
Maybe he'd have stayed.

REPLY
1 year ago
🤢

REPLY
1 year ago
Original commenter here. You might think it's TMI but the point was to show pegging is not rare, is something that people in loving & commited relationships can enjoy, and most of all to give the Poster actual advice she can use to explore her husband's fantasy.

She seems to have no idea of how to proceed as it's been a week since he told her and she hasn't brought it up or done anything about it. A good partner should be "good, giving and game", willing to try things within reason to meet their partner's needs/wants.

Sorry to hear your relationship fell apart. Pegging wouldn't have kept him with you though; there's a lot more to being gay than taking something in the butt.

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1 year ago
New poster . Also in our experience the more we explore each other's bodies the closer we are with each other, our relationship went to a whole new level after we tried anal, he always loved to touch my ass, now it's my favourite

REPLY
1 year ago
And a very big thank you from a wife that would love to explore! Any other tips for a couple just starting?

P.s if you don't like it go to another thread, obviously something has your curiosity to read AND engage in the discussion!! Maybe you should stick around for some extra tips ☺️

REPLY
1 year ago
Original commenter here. My comment is a little long so I'll split it in two.

1: To the wife who's curious and wants tips (good on you!) I added a few in further comments below about lube (silicone vs water based), protection (gloves for your hands), taking care (trim your nails and make sure there are no sharp bits), and getting the guy to wash the toy(s) *very* well once things are done. Put a towel down when you're doing something in bed or on soft furnishings, just in case. Be very careful that you don't get butt germs on your vulva or in your vagina, so keep an eye on whose hands are going where, and excuse yourself to go wash your hands (or tell him he needs to wash his hands/c*ck etc) as needed.


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1 year ago
Comment 2:

There are human-phallus shaped toys but also other types, animal based (try BadDragon-dot-com some are wacky, some are fun). It was a bit weird for me at first because he was the one buying them and surprising me, but try not to worry too much about which one your partner chooses; it's all about what feels good inside. You may want a few different sizes; something small, and something medium size, and if he really enjoys it get something a little bigger to work up to or just to play with outside the body if it's really too much. And don't underestimate a good buttplug; they can feel good for him while he's pleasuring you or while you two are having sex.

You could also try listening to a sex advice columnist who I love to listen to - Savage Lovecast (the host's name is Dan Savage), he gets all kinds of interesting questions and is very sex-positive. If you and hubby are going for a drive or listen to podcasts together put that on and see what kinds of conversations come up!

REPLY
1 year ago
I think she gave you good tips on giving it a go.
And i don't see how being adventurous in the bedroom makes you gay. But OK you just reinforce those stereotypes. Butt stuff makes men gay, women should stay at home barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen etc.
Personally i have a very vanilla sex life, so i have no advice. But thanks for sharing

REPLY
1 year ago
Thank you for taking the time to reply! Will take your advice on board and going to check out those toys now!

REPLY
1 year ago
That was a very well written way to explain things. I didn't know what it was so thanks!

ANSWER
1 year ago
So I can deal with butt play, plugs etc BUT IMO if he wants fucked up the arse with a dildo that is bordering on gay. I understand it feels good bla bla (hence why I'm OK for butt plugs) but to replicate having anal sex is a little to far for me, he might as well get the real thing from a guy.

ANSWER
1 year ago
Deal breaker for me, i want a MAN a proper man, not a man who wants to pretend to be a woman and be fucked by his wife.

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REPLY
1 year ago
^ agree

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1 year ago
Same. Also, It's totally gay, these women are naive af.

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1 year ago
Sounds like internalised misogyny to me 🤷‍♀️

REPLY
1 year ago
It isn’t gay at all. You need to grow up and broaden your mind. Have a look and learn about male anatomy and where sexual pleasure points are located

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1 year ago
Gosh your life must be difficult if you think Men must stick to only Manly Things. I assume you do all the washing, cooking, cleaning, child rearing, beer fetching, slipper holding, listening without talking, and never disagree or have your own opinion. I guess you lay motionless during sex while your husband pounds away thinking of other women, pretending you don't know he's cheating on you (because isn't that what Manly Men do? Sow their wild seeds, boys will be boys, can't expect them to stop themselves), and are otherwise completely subservient to your King. Because that's what Real Women do isn't it? Life with such restrictive roles sounds terrible, don't drag the rest of us down.

REPLY
1 year ago
maybe if ur husband knew how to make sex good for you, you'd understand why some guys want to give penetration a try! ;)

REPLY
1 year ago
My best friend is a gay male and he hates anything anal. Maybe he's actually straight, that would follow your weird logic?
I like to be eaten out, but I'm not a lesbian...

REPLY
1 year ago
Being eaten out is not gay

ANSWER
1 year ago
The poo element....I just can’t get over it unfortunately - even wearing gloves as someone suggested kind of makes it worse....plus hairy bum cracks...plus that ‘bum’ smell...not keen even if my partner was.

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REPLY
1 year ago
Same. Not for me. No desire to do it at all

ANSWER
1 year ago
You’re lucky I’d love to peg my husband

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REPLY
1 year ago
Same!

ANSWER
1 year ago
Remember to use good lube, plenty of it, and one that's compatible with your toy(s). Silicone based lube is bad for silicone toys (it begins to break then down). Use water based lube. And seriously don't be shy about how much you need to use and if you need to reapply, a slippery butt is a happy one.

Use form-fitting disposable kitchen gloves if you're squeamish about getting something on your hands, and if not then make sure your nails are trimmed/smooth and you don't have any cuts on your skin.

ANSWER
1 year ago
Genuine question here. What about faeces? I think I'd be happy to try but that puts me off.

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REPLY
1 year ago
Do it when he doesn't need to poop and you should be ok. There may be a tiny bit *sometimes* on the tip of the toy when you're done, but you can wear gloves (disposable kitchen gloves, find the form-fitting ones) if you're using your hands, and the toy will need a good wash afterwards anyway (make him do it - it's his butt). He'll probably be embarrassed so don't make a big deal about it.

It's also ok to say "now's not a good time" if you're using your hands and feel something. Again, if he thought now was a good time but it turns out it's not then just be considerate (but straightforward so he knows why you're saying no).

Some people also douche their butts beforehand to ensure it's clear. This requires a bit more preparation, and it hasn't been necessary in my 10+ years my husband and I have been fooling around with his butt. But if your partner is having a lot of poop situations then this may be a necessary step for them.

Also use water based lube with silicone toys.

ANSWER
1 year ago
I want my wife to peg me too.

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REPLY
1 year ago
I'll do it

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1 year ago
can't wait.

REPLY
1 year ago
🍆

ANSWER
1 year ago
Agreed with everyone else, be glad he can be so honest! I would love to peg my husband but he is only just starting to let me play with his arse so after 15 years I'd say we have about 5 to go til we get to that point 😂😂😭

ANSWER
1 year ago
What does this mean?

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REPLY
1 year ago
Google it

REPLY
1 year ago
Pegging is basically where you put on a strap on and fuck your husband/partner. It’s great fun.

ANSWER
1 year ago
I would be happy that he has opened up to you about his fantasy. That’s a really tough thing for any married couple to do. It could just be fantasy for him and talking about it might just be enough. If it’s a hard no for you that’s fine. But otherwise try exploring verbally during sex.
I have a threesome fantasy which I do t ever expect my hubby to fulfill but it turns me on so incredibly bad when he brings it up during sex.
Maybe there’s something you would like to try or fantasie about??

ANSWER
1 year ago
Not gay. I love pegging. It’s a great way to switch roles. To me it’s no different to role playing as the naughty maid. If you are comfortable with it, go ahead but find a small strap on to start with and remember lube. If you aren’t comfortable with it have a conversation with your partner and maybe he might find a plug stimulating enough.

ANSWER
1 year ago
I work as an escort and this isn’t uncommon. It doesn’t mean he is gay they just want to explore. If you’re comfortable and ONLY if you’re comfortable give it a try as you don’t want him getting so curious he goes elsewhere. Not saying this will happen but this is what most of my clients say

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REPLY
1 year ago
I agree. Not gay.

Probably been being regularly pegged elsewhere though.

Gagging for it but can't get due to lockdown. Trying for some home service for the time being.