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Anyone else just feel lost in life?

Im 41 and have no idea who i am or what i want. I've realised I've spent my entire adult life being 'busy' with life and being there for others, never putting myself first and now im totally lost. I got engaged and built a house at 21, married at 23, 1st kid at 26, 2nd kid at 28. I was made redundant 6 months ago and decided to take some time off - financially i don't need to work and hubbys job is pretty intense and he's away alot so it makes me working harder. I've never had time for 'me', but with not working and kids older, im feeling a bit refundant. I have a LOT of friends, we go away a lot, i have a nice life but im not content. I don't have anything to be passionate about. I don't really have any hobbies. I hate study. When people ask what i like to do, i can never answer. I feel like a 'meh' person. All i do is cook, clean, wash, shop, run kids around etc and wait for exciting/interesting things to happen or people to drop in or to be invited somewhere


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Answers (9)

Yep you are a meh person. Find some passion. It's sounds like you've just been a passenger in your life. Someone else is always driving the car. Take the wheel lady, there's no do over! Dive deep. Read some books, listen to podcasts, look for inspiration everywhere. Even if you are mildly interested in it try it or do it - what is the worst that could happen? If that doesn't do it for you try the next thing and so on. Travel go on road trips, you're in charge, you pick the place, the hotel, the food, the adventure etc. Do something completely out of character, get out of your comfort zone. Get crazy lady. Yolo

Hey. You're not alone in this feeling. And you're certainly not stuck in it. Maybe it feels like it now, but it'll pass.
Let's switch it up and see it from a different perspective. You've been given the opportunity to explore new horizons. When you were a child, what did you want to do that you couldn't? For example, I wanted to do ballet. Now is the time to do the crazy shit you dreamt of before society told you that you couldn't. Go take a ballet class, start building a pirate boat (maybe don't sail it under piracy intentions, but building it is fine). Learn to juggle. Start a charity for those less fortunate. Or volunteer with one.
It doesn't have to be something you're passionate about. It doesn't even have to make sense. Maybe you want to help nuns learn to skydive, great, set up a foundation.
Passion is a fickle thing. It's fleeting. What we felt ready to die for a decade ago, we're desensitized to now.
Go try a bunch of new things. You'll find something you'll like.

Get a hobby - try some new things and go from there. You can't wait for life to happen, you have to make things exciting by mixing it up x

Contd..... things are more fun and exciting when hubby is around. We do more and go more places - camping, 4x4ing etc. But it scares me if i think "what if we split up"?. He'd be off living a balanced, fulfilled, busy, happy life. The kids would probably want to be with him more coz he's the 'fun one' capable of doing all the exciting stuff they like and id just be boring mum, sitting home alone, waiting for life to happen to me coz I have literally no idea what to do with myself or how to fill this emptyness i feel

Yep. Totally feeling this way. Every thing is about the kids/hhusband. Sadly thought today I don’t even know what I like anymore

Think about some volunteering opportunities in your community - it changed the way you feel about what you can contribute.

I find I get less accomplished when I’m not working. I feel more motivated and in a routine. Perhaps you are the type of person that needs a job just to have structure in your life and other people to talk to especially if your husband is away. People work for different reasons.

I wish i was meh, instead i am desperate to die but keep on living.

SAHM Staff Im so sorry to read this. Please consider calling Lifeline (13 11 14), the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467), the beyondblue Support Service (1300 224 636), or Kids Helpline (1800 551 800).
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  You are not alone, and you are also stronger than you realise 💙
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