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Pregnant at 43 after partner had vasectomy.

Answered 1 year ago

Blended family of 7. No kids together. He had a vasectomy early last year but I've just confirmed I'm pregnant. This is the last thing I want. I've got through a divorce, single parenting for 5 years alone before partner came along. We only moved in together 6 months ago. And I'm 43! All our kids are healthy. I'm working and I'm happy where my life is.
I haven't told him yet but I'm sure he'd feel the same as me.
I know babies are amazing! I loved the baby stage and watching them grow into their own people. But its had its challenges blending and I expect will do for a while. Nothing awful, just challenging. Adding another would be expensive and I worry itll bring resentment or worry to our kids.
What on earth! Can people tell me their stories if something similar happened and how you came to a decision and how it worked out. Thank you.


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ANSWER
1 year ago
How are you op? I hope it all went well for you ❤️❤️❤️

ANSWER
1 year ago
I got pregnant last year, 15 years between kids, was not planned. i was devastated and resentful my whole pregnancy, i kept thinking "should have had an abortion". My anxiety was thru the roof, id wake up and couldn't breathe and felt like i was drowning every night. I was so detached to the pregnancy i thought it was a huge mistake and id hate the baby and not form a bond and end up with this ramen, unloved kid with trauma attachment issues, and i thought my life was over and that I'd ruined my others kids lives!
But OMG i was so wrong! This beautiful little person is perfect and i have so much love for them and my life feels so complete and the other kids love the baby so much! In my personal situation, it was so right to have this little baby ♥ and they are so loved and wanted ♥

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1 year ago
💜

REPLY
1 year ago
I am a surprise baby from a second marriage with a 15 to 21 year gap. My siblings adore me and I adore them. Even now I am in my 50s they tell me how happy they are that I came along.
I am very lucky 💕

ANSWER
1 year ago
No one has the right to judge this woman or any choice she makes about her body and life. Pregnancy is a wonderful experience but it can also cause a lot of mental, emotional and physical concerns and complications. Not everyone has the wonderful pregnancy that we all expect to have. That is okay, everyone is different and reacts differently to being pregnant. Whilst I am desperately trying for another child I would never judge someone elses choices for their life.

I wish you OP all the best in your decision making.

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REPLY
1 year ago
Alao I have half siblings and we never resented or had any dramas with them. We all get along so well. So dont think older siblings wont accept a new baby many do :-) not to sway you either way just wanted to share my experience as an older sister.

ANSWER
1 year ago
I think you have a few different issues, you need to sit down, think about them all and decide if each is a problem - eg is money a problem, is it a problem that you haven't known your partner long enough, is age a problem, is finances a problem etc. Think honestly about each thing. I will say that I know heaps of people who have had kids in their 40s perfectly healthy, so age doesn't have to be a problem if it isn't a problem for you.

ANSWER
1 year ago
I'm not in your position, but in all honesty if I ever get pregnant again we won't be going through with it. I feel our life is good with our two kids, and think mentally I wouldn't handle it very well either. Mind you in our almost 20 years together we've only ever got pregnant when trying to, so hopefully will never be an issue.

ANSWER
1 year ago
I'm sure all of these nasty women would crack the shits if someone was bullying their child, so why do they think it's ok to do it to someone else? Comments like those can really mess people up. Disgusting behaviour from "adults".
OP- you do whatever feels right for you and your family. Whatever decision you make I'm sure will be the right one for your family! Sending you love xx

ANSWER
1 year ago
honestly , I do think that the others wouldn't resent their new sibling if you choose to go ahead. But its your decision. I havent heard of someone getting pregnant so far after her partner had the snip. A few weeks maybe but wow. Id have words with whoever did the procedure lol.


ANSWER
1 year ago
My husband has had the snip and this my worst nightmare- having said you are in a new relationship so it could be an exciting adventure for you.

ANSWER
1 year ago
Meant to be! Whoo hoo! Congratulations ❤️

ANSWER
1 year ago
Alot will say "it's meant to be" or what not. But if you have doubts I would suggest you both speak to a professional asap so you have options.
My hubby is getting the snip soon so cannot ask, did you do the follow up semen test? To make sure it was all good? This has scared me haha. Good luck xx

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1 year ago
Yes. All checked and given the all clear.

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1 year ago
Oh dear! Expect him to accuse you of cheating!

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1 year ago
I B would probably start the conversation along the lines of ‘did you get the semen test done after you had the snip because your swimmers are still working!’

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1 year ago
I have to say I'm lucky enough to have found a great man. Even if it does cross his mind, which I'm sure it would anybody, he wouldn't say it to my face. He's more likely to secretly go to his doctor.
Unlike my ex who would be spitting in my face while cornering me.

ANSWER
1 year ago
Good luck with whatever you decide, times are tough already. I completely understand not wanting to do it all again, i have a 3 yo and a 5 yo and i sure as hell will be happy to get through the toddler stage! Best wishes xx

ANSWER
1 year ago
You can get counselling if you are considering ending the pregnancy. If you are in Queensland you can call children by choice and have access to their counsellors. The website also has a lot of handy information about making a decision. If you aren’t your state might have a similar service. Just remember no matter what you choose it will affect your life.

ANSWER
1 year ago
Hi OP. I have no suggestions... but whatever decision you make, all the best x