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Emotionally abusive DH

I'm ready to leave him. These last 11 years have reduced me to an almost empty shell. He treats me absolutely terribly, and I refuse to spend another year with this man, I'd rather be alone forever (and I'm planning on being alone forever, I can't imagine how great it will feel!!!).
But I'm petrified of how he will treat our daughters. I'm so worried he will turn our eldest into his verbal punching bag.
What can I do to protect them?
They are 7 & 2.


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Answers (10)

Call your local Domestic Abuse hotline or shelter. Their numbers, but not their addresses, should be readily available via the Internet or a phonebook. They will get you out, help you with housing, legal advice, and if necessary hide you from your abusive partner.

 Also try to record him when he's being abusive as verbal and emotional abuse are harder to prove than something that leaves a mark on your body. My friend had to provoke her verbally abusive husband until he punched her to get the police to help becasue there was no way to prove it. If your neighbors can hear him, they can be witnesses too
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I don't have any advice but what shits me is no one is offering this woman advice (surely someone has some!) They would rather agrue about bs

 They're to busy bitching on the other thread to actually help someone.

Op call cps - or even help line they may be able to direct you into the right place
Good luck be strong you can do this xxx

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Seek legal help. Get a restraining order. DO NOT WAIT any longer! Please, seek help ASAP!

I feel for you. I have lived with a damaged,depressive,narcissistic man for 20 years. Have you dared confront him over this behaviour? I have and things improve for a while, before reverting to learned behaviour going back to his incredibly dysfunctional childhood. Issues need to be raised and if he isn't willing to take responsibility then you and your children should leave. Kids are like sponges, they will learn that this is how relationships work, and apply it to their own future relationships. I wish you and your children all the best.

Take them with you when you go. Don't let him have access. That is easier said than done though. My husband wanted to see the kids to get at me. At first I let him see them, but I went too. I would meet him at a park for a few hours where he could spend time with the children. He threatened several times that he was going to get full custody, but at the end of the day he didn't really want them so nothing eventuated.
If your husband is different and would fight for custody, then you need to educate your child about communication that is inappropriate. Explain how it is inappropriate to speak meanly to another, this includes family. Explain there is no such thing as a secret between you and her and she can tell you anything. Then, just monitor how she goes with her visits with dad. Monitor her behaviour, and act if there are changes as this can be an indicator of trouble.

Im in exact same situation. Im planning eacape right now. Have a dvo put on by police. Really doesnt help. He doesn't care. Make a plan and escape be brave i know it is so scary

 It's a personal application for dvo (not a police one) if police do not have evidence. Note down exactly what has been happening. Any threats etc because you need details on your application.
If you are ever scared call 000 on your phone.... MUTE it so you can't hear the operator calling out and they track the phone and send police x

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Get some legal help.
Stay strong and good luck. Sorry I can't offer much more I've never been there but just remember you and your girls deserve so much more xxx

why call him DH ? sounds like you enjoy it

 Wow, constructive advice! Semantics are not the issue here, think the person needs practical solutions!
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why f**k him and get preg twice idiot

 Wow, that's a very ignorant statement.
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 I am guessing you have male genitalia and an incredibly small brain. Go back to your dodgy porn site and keep your imbecilic opinions to yourself!
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