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Sex is becoming a thing of the past?

Answered 2 months ago

Sex with my wife has become maybe once a month at the most. I have a high sex drive. I know she enjoys it but is always too tired. Every time i bring it up turns into a fight. Been married four years. Can only see it getting worse.
Any advice? I cook every night, clean, and I’m a pretty hands on parent. I’m so frustrated.


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ANSWER
2 months ago
I would be frustrated too.
I am the wife with the husband who is happy for once a month… it’s the pits.
I have communicated and communicated and communicated. There have been fights and tears and in the end I just gave up. I bought toys and I deal with it that way. We are still very affectionate toward one another though and our relationship is great aside from the lack of sex.
We are also at four years.
I am hoping doesn’t get any worse thb.

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REPLY
1 month ago
Op here. Gee we sound like we’re I’m an identical spot. So frustrating

ANSWER
2 months ago
The mental load is what exhausts me. Managing & juggling all the life admin stuff - appts, sports, finances, haircuts, school (or daycare) stuff, birthdays, buying clothes & everything else that pops up. My husband thinks he does an equal amount but has no idea what's involved. By the end of the day I'm done looking looking after everyone else's needs & just want to look afterynown - relax, then sleep.

So, of you want more, give more. Precisely half. Of everything.

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REPLY
2 months ago
I agree. Whilst my partner is a very hands on dad he has no idea of the mental load of being mum. I may not work full time anymore but I’m juggling 2 kids, being pregnant, working part time, studying part time and then just day to day stuff of life (you know cooking, cleaning, laundry etc). I’m the same as you, at the end of the day I just want to have a shower and climb into bed, relax for a bit without anybody touching me and then go to sleep.

I’m glad my partner doesn’t pressure me for sex or make me feel guilty for us not having sex very often at the moment.

REPLY
2 months ago
Not to mention having time to spending asksahm right?

ANSWER
2 months ago
My partner and I are still very young, we are both full time workers with 2 toddler boys and to be honest we only have sex once in a blue moon. To be honest it’s something we haven’t really discussed about, more so we don’t have another baby anytime soon because we don’t use protection and I’ve never taken any contraception. And because we’re exhausted by bed time!

ANSWER
2 months ago
Why is she so tired? Does she have an underlying medical thing happening, like anaemia, depression, menopause, etc?
I see you are sharing the domestic load. Does she work? Is the workplace toxic?
If sex is something she really does enjoy and the relationship itself is loving, I’d be supporting her to look at other causes.