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Controlling the finances? much to give your partner a week

Basically my new partner is SHIT with money. If he can see it, he'll spend it. If he knows it's there, he'll spend it.
My ex was the complete good with money. So I'm trying not to freak out and pull all of my hair out. I set up with him a joint account where we both put the same amount of money a week to cover our rent and bills like insurances etc.
We started putting another amount into another account to just 'save'. After his loan and phone come out of his normal account, he is still left with $300 or so a week - which he spends on NOTHING. Each Thursday night he has no money left....I'm trying to reassure myself that it's ok because the main things are covered first
So I want to take control....and just leave him like $50- $100 in his bank each week - he can let me know if something comes up and he needs more. I don't *want* his money, ill be saving it.
Does anyone else do this kind of thing? How do you work it?
What kind of allowance to you give your partner?


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Answers (11)

I'm shit with money but I smell trouble in the relationship if you have to be that controlling over his finances. Even though you have good intentions. I'd suggest taking him to financial counselling so he's taught the skills and then your future financial situation won't rest squarely on your shoulders. Especially if you see this as a long term relationship.

I personally would not have a joint anything with a man like this. Seperate accounts and No joint names on leases or utilities. Nothing. Sounds like you haven't been together for long. Do you really want to be controlling his money and only 'allowing' him $50 a week? That's a long life ahead of you if you have to mother him so early on.

I don't give my husband an allowance. I don't get one either. We both agreed on our financial goals for the next few years and know that any ridiculous spending would have an affect on these so we don't do it. We still go out and have fun. We save our money for big luxuries like cruises.

I give my husband $30 a week, he stays home with the kids and it's to cover coffee, play cafes etc.

 That's very sad. If you were a man giving your SAHM wife $30 a week there would be an uproar from everyone here. $30 a week is fu***d. It's abuse.
helpful (6) 
 It would barely pay for a script if he had to take them to a doctor
helpful (1) 
 I spent more on 1 dinner just then. Wow.
helpful (2) 
 Thats rediculous!
helpful (1) 
 And when he spends $100 in a week going out for lunch and we can't pay the mortgage or bills what are we meant to do?
helpful (2) 
 You are absolutely disgusting. I feel bad for your husband living with a control freak!! What your doing is abuse.
helpful (0) 
 ^^so judgemental. All of you. It's disgusting. Not one of you even know what this person's income is. But yet, you are quick to assume that $30 a week is financial abuse. Maybe that $30 is their limit for luxury things. Otherwise they might not be able to put food on the table!
helpful (3) 
 Thanks. That money is for treats during the week, my budget is $0. We other money for other things but for treats that's the limit, or there won't be money for medication.
helpful (0) 
 She didn't say it was to cover medication though. That might be separate. Whether $30 is a lot depends on their total income, and what the $30 is supposed to cover. if its only for coffees etc it sounds fine.
helpful (0) 

This is so SO sad. Living life having to give allowances to your partner. Your equal. Over 300k between my husband and I, we both have access to every single cent. We're both very happy.

 Well yeah cos there's not a whole lots of need to budget luxuries on that income hahaha
We've just gone from 30k combined family to 80k... We no longer need to budget wasteful spending money

helpful (4) 
 Um what?
helpful (0) 
 Sheesh, who wouldn't be happy on a combined income of 300K. You are in the richest probably 3% of Australians!
helpful (1) 

How many posts have their been about women getting "allowances" from the husbands and everyone screamed financial abuse?! But its ok for some to do it to men? You are all control freaks, your husbands must be completely miserable living with you.

 I dont think it was the allowances that was the problem in those posts, but the amount of the allowance, the guilt put on them for spending anything and having to beg for more if it was needed was the problem.

Having a set amout for spending every week when your trying to budget is smart.

helpful (2) 
 I think the term allowance is a bit patronising, but the actual issues here are not the same. The posts about financial abuse is where the person is not given any money for clothes etc and theres an imbalance of power. This guy is spending $300 a week on crap right now, and no imbalance, as they both contribute equally.
helpful (1) 

My husband gets $120/fortnight. That's spending and beer money. He doesn't go out much but when he does we withdraw extra funds to cover it.

I would leave him with more like $200 and save $100. Especially if you want this to be a long term plan. I would be annoyed with $100 a week. That wouldn't even be a nice meal out and a movie.

Tell him to divert another $100 or so a week out of his account for rego, insurance, etc. so he's not looking for it when the time comes. Then let him spend his own money, but don't ever bail him out with yours or he'll never learn :)

He might need a goal in mind to help him save? Like set a goal of a $3000 rainy day fund or $5000 for a holiday he would love. I find it hard to save without a purpose if that makes sense. There needs to be a good reason for me to stop buying all the little things I like every day. If I'm doing it for an awesome goal it's easier :)

My husband and I have a competition going to see who can save the most money by the end of the year. It's astonishing how good my husband has become with money, and he too was shite, waste all his money on coffees and lunches, drinks at the servo etc.