Hiding that your smoking again from your partner
Answered 3 years ago
Ok guys, I don’t know what to do I’m soo mad and angry right now it’s not funny... so I have had my slight suspicions lately that my hubby has started smoking again after quoting 7 years ago. A few weeks ago I found a packet of smokes in his car and he told me they weren’t his, a work mate wanted him to buy them for them when he went to town.. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and told my self to trust him. Then a few days ago I find a packet in his car open with some missing, I hid them in his car on him just so he would know I knew about it. When he asked me where they were and I asked him why is he smoking again he lied straight to my face and said they were a friends and that friend left them in his car. So I’m not stupid he may think I am but I’m far from it and I know the smokes are my hubby’s. I’m so mad that he would lie to me, that he thinks it is fine to smoke after him telling me 7 years ago he wanted to give up for our daughter when we had her and also the fact that we are not in a financial position to afford to buy smokes.
I know if he can lie to me now about it there will be nothing stopping him telling me he will stop and he not doing so, sorry for the long rant but I just don’t know what to do. I’m just broken that he keeps telling me lies.
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Sounds like you both need to work out spending time with friends separately, you sound like you might need me time too.
Shame/guilt for starting again after so long not.
Scared of your reaction(clearly warranted) as it wouldn’t be one of support you seem like you would indeed “loose your shit” at him.
You don’t have a right to dictate what he does as does not do. You can express how you feel. You can express where you think you’ll end up due to it not being what you want.... But you don’t get to tell him what he can and can’t do.
3, it’s addiction. I really really think you should educate yourself further on addiction and “relapsing” into addiction. By the sounds of it you are creating an environment that’s ultimately not going to get anyone what they want.
Have you once considered things from his point of veiw? You have minimised some stress you’ve caused him and flat out belligerently ignored a struggle and weakness your life partner is going through. And instead of showing support and offering a hand you come with a hammer.
Most people would lie to you to.