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Am I being unreasonable?

Answered 5 years ago

Help!
I have been married to my husband for just about 10 year!
We have two children together! 8 and 10!
I gave up my full time job up last year to have the children so he could work on his career, and he as been very successful!
Basically cut a long story sort he’s away every week Monday- Thursday.
Sometimes travel all over the world! Can be away for 2 week at a time!
when he arrives home on Thursday all he seems to want to do is go out the his local pub which is fine I understand that he needs to let some steam off as his job is stressful,
what I don’t understand is him going out till 3am so times later, he can’t seem to understand why I have a problem with this Nor why it upsets me, sometimes next day is a complete write off he will stay in bed and work from their,
I have asked why he thinks this is ok but my only answer is
“what’s the problem” he’s not going to stop doing it!
Am I overreacting!? I just feel alone Missable! I feel like a single parent!


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ANSWER
5 years ago
No you are not being unreasonable but you need to explain to him why it’s unreasonable. Just because you work hard and make good money doesn’t mean u get to have Benders like an 18 year old would. You have a family now etc and if that doesn’t work then maybe leave? Or threaten as much

Replies

REPLY
5 years ago
U have tried that, told him it makes me feel he doesn’t want to be at home, the kids don’t understand why he goes out as soon as he’s back from work out either!
The only answer I get is well what is the difference if I’m back at 11.30 or 4am you will be in bed?! ( i don’t I try and wait up for him)
He basically said he’s not going to stop and if I don’t like it leave! How can some that loves you be so disrespectful! I would leave if I had somewhere to go!

REPLY
5 years ago
It’s not really a good sign that he’s unwilling to change and suggesting you leave.
Sorry to say but you should be leaving.
And there ARE places for you to go. First stop is Centrelink to help you out. Once you get your own finances set up then you can look for somewhere to rent. Have read it many times here before that people have no where to go; and others have suggested going to Centrelink for help (delicate that you are separated and still needing to live there as you have no where to go) and they will start paying you as a single parent.
Good luck. I hope you find TRUE happiness with someone that loves you and wants to spend time with you

ANSWER
5 years ago
Make your plan and get out. Good luck x

ANSWER
5 years ago
He's a narcissist. Get out while you can x

ANSWER
5 years ago
Is he cheating ?
It is not normal committed married behaviour, basically spending no time at home with wife and children.
Do you ever have family holidays together ?
If he really spends no time with you and the children you might need to consider that he is in the process of moving on, just your home situation is a convenience to him while he has this work pattern.
But what will he do afterwards, or when the children are able to be independent ?
And do you know where all his earnings go to ? Could he be siphoning off money ?

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REPLY
5 years ago
I’m sorry to confirm this! OP you described my ex hubby exactly! He was having an affair and I left with my kids. The downside is he never sees the kids, the upside is I’m happy on my own and the kids are happy as well. Only one who loses is my ex!

ANSWER
5 years ago
His behavior is unreasonable. He is treating you and the kids like shit. He is choosing strangers at a pub over his family.. I would tell him that the kids are asking why dad doesn't love us anymore. Because that is exact what he is showing them. If nothing changes I would start back at work full-time and end the marriage..He has already ended it emotionally. Sorry you are having to deal with this.

ANSWER
5 years ago
You're working full time being a mother. You need your rest as well. And your family needs daddy time. Tell him to smarten up his act and stop being so selfish.

ANSWER
5 years ago
Not at all. You are basically being a single parent. He needs to participate in the family.

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REPLY
5 years ago
You think so wouldn’t you, it’s like he Tries to turn it around on me and make me feel like I do have a problem but surly as a married man with children this is not normal?!
Don’t get me wrong me and the kids have a great life and don’t really go without anything, but what we need most of all his some of his time that means more than anything!