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I need advice there is someone I am interested in and vica versa we get on well, he has informed me that he is definitel

Answered 2 years ago

I need advice there is someone I am interested in and vica versa we get on well, he has informed me that he is definitely not gay but he is bisexual. Now I am not sure how I feel about this and wether I should still pursue a relationship with this person or be best to wish him well on his search.

Also am I right in thinking when he asked me about how I feel about him being a sissy, he is referring to fact he enjoys wearing women’s panties. To add he has sucked and been with about 5 men over the last 15 years but has never had penetrative sex.


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ANSWER
2 years ago
He's gay

ANSWER
2 years ago
I wouldn't be able to do it personally, my vagina would dry up and clam shut at a full grown man even saying the word sissy. 🤢

Replies

REPLY
2 years ago
You need to experiment more 😂 I, a woman, have whispered to my husband that he's a "little slut" during some pretty fun times, in the right setting anything can be hot!

REPLY
2 years ago
Ha, the stars there give two very different words. It's meant to be the word ess-el-you-tee.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I think if he admits to being sucked he has had to have tried penetration... that is what bi-sexual means. If he had plans to be with just you he wouldn’t tell you like this he would reframe it like I went through some stuff trying to figure out who I am and I experimented, it was fun at the time but when I’m with you I know I’m not that guy. The way he makes it sound is I know who I am if you want me you have to accept me like this.
He won’t change, he will pull you into his kinky world and you will find him in bed one day with a dude. The next step will be inviting one of his bi buddies with you for a threesome.

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REPLY
2 years ago
Bisexual means romantic and/or sexual interest in women and men. It does not mean he's been penetrated by a man.

Someone can be bi without having dated or f*cked both women and men; it just means they're interested in both, and open to both. Not all bi and gay men enjoy anal penetration. Maybe he doesn't like the idea. Maybe he didn't feel like doing it with the guys he's blown for whatever reason.

ANSWER
2 years ago
If you want a relationship with this person then go for it. A straight person who enters into a monogamous relationship is giving up pursuing sex with other people, it's the same for a bi person, yet I don't see people saying, "nah you should run away from the straight guy you're interested in, he'll just cheat because he still wants other ladies".

There's a saddening amount of bi-phobia and bi-erasure in a lot of the comments above. Bi men aren't gay, they're bi, just like bi women aren't gay, or straight ladies experimenting, they're bi. It's possible for people to be attracted to people of more than one gender! It's real, it happens, but sometimes people hide this fact about themselves because of the bullshit like the comments above. If he tells you he's bi then have the decency to believe him.

If you want a monogamous relationship then tell him that, don't just assume he'll know (this goes for everyone, not just someone dating a bi person). If you think one day you'd be open to an open relationship, tell him you want monogamy for now and can't guarantee anything but maybe one day you would consider opening things.

If you're concerned about STIs then be honest with him; STIs can be transferred regardless of who is bonking whom, why don't you suggest you both get screened to be on the safe side? Also, not every gay or bi man likes anal so don't assume he's lying to you.

I can't tell by the way you phrased it about the ladies' underwear thing; did he actually tell you he wears them, and he identifies as a sissy because of that? Or do you just think that sissy = wears ladies'underwear. What are your concerns about this? You could talk to him to find out more. Is it a secret pleasure thing, he likes going about his day with this little transgression nobody knows? Is it something he wants you to humiliate him for in the bedroom? Does he expect a dominant partner?

It's ok to be vanilla in bed, but it's also ok to be a little (or a lot) kinky. Maybe you've got a few quirks you'd like to explore with a safe partner. Maybe you're a little intrigued by what he's saying.

At the end of the day YOU and HE are the only ones who'd be in this relationship. What does it matter what a bunch of anonymous strangers think of it? Stop worrying about what others think of this guy's preferences, because that's pointless. How do you feel about him? If nobody ever knew what you knew, if you removed all feelings of shame and external influence, would you date him?

ANSWER
2 years ago
Not a good idea, walk away.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Just walk away

ANSWER
2 years ago
Hmm 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Sounds like he's still quite inquisitive given that he's only gone so far, such could present a problem down the track. Or he's lying about not doing anything more than he's stated.

Calling himself a 'sissy' for wearing women's underwear send a bit 'humiliation fetishist' to me, which is something I'd personally have an issue with on a long-term partner.

Are you considering him long term? Personally, I'd have fun, then move on. It seems a bit too risky.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Run. The ones who say they are bi always end up full blown gay.

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REPLY
2 years ago
^ this

ANSWER
2 years ago
Id just want to be sure if he was having safe sex. Although thats also true for sex with a female.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Yeah, nah

ANSWER
2 years ago
I remember Carrie in sex and the city dating a bi guy saying she feels insecure and jealous of men and women she didn't know who he was checking out! I would be insecure but my main worry was if you were exclusive and then got married etc would you be enough for him to not engage with other men. I would worry he might cheat. I reckon just stay friends or occasionally fuck buddy fun but nothing more

ANSWER
2 years ago
Ummm if you’re ok with your man enjoying d**k regardless in which fashion then go for it. For me it’s a straight out no thank you next! You can accept who he is but doesn’t mean you need to enter a relationship if it doesn’t sit right with you.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I think it would only be a problem if he's not exclusive in our relationship. Otherwise if he's all about me, who cares about the underwear?

ANSWER
2 years ago
Don’t go there, walk away. You will never satisfy him.