If someone else’s parents let my teenager have sleepovers at their bf/ gf house, I would be pissed off. Just because you are pro life and would love a grandchild does not guarantee the kids (Yes, teenagers are kids and have no business having “oopsie” babies) would agree, or the other parents. Could likely still end in an abortion and a whole lot of trauma..... letting a 21 yo have a girlfriend over is different to letting teenagers conceive Under your roof. Ew....

why would they have a 'little accidnt' sounds like you are setting up some kind of breeding program

that's my worry, since I have a younger one too. Thank you

How will your younger kids know they’re having sex?

How is the gf sleeping over impacting the younger kids? Out of curiosity

yes, the young one is asking if he can have a gf now and sleepover too.

we share a common bathroom in the house, and I am not comfortable having them shower together.. hence, my thoughts are, he needs his own place if they wanna be doing that

I wrote the comment at the top of the thread. I worry about it impacting the younger kids because its another person sharing their space. Eating their food, using hot water, them having to be considerate of, not to mention what they may hear or walk in on. I don't have an issue with older kids having a partner over to stay on occasion, but its not going to happen when ever he feels like it. Its our house and we need to feel comfortable in it.

Is this an old question bumped up again? It sounds really familiar

This is my thought too. If they can have a mature conversation about it, then they are ready.

my thoughts, exactly!

I agree with this. Once young adults are having sex, they need their own place. Simple as that.

Agree

yep

Gf is as old as he is. I just dont feel comfortable with them doing things under my roof.. thinking if theyre pretty serious about it, might as well do it right

Do it right? Are you suggesting they marry before sex? 😱

hate to break it to you, they are doing those things under your roof if the GF is sleeping over or not

Not under parents roof its not normal. Most of us were not raised that way.

She's of the same age.. that's why im thinking if they want to do things, theyd need a place of their own

Thank you replying! I badly need some insights and truly sleeping over has not been a practice in our family that we have accepted and grew up in. The GF lives with her grandma, and her nana does not approve of sleepovers as well. I mean, how can I be the one bending my rules, if the grandma herself does not approve of it as well, right? Sadly, there is no 'pulling of their weight' as well.. my (step)son even mentioned to me that he's 21, a 'fullgrown' adult who pays $80/wk for his 'rent' in our house (which we put away and save to give to him when he leaves the nest). Before I became his step mom, I was told that they had a 'little accident' and had to take care of it. I mean, I'm not judging, but my intention is to prevent them from having this 'little accident' again from happening and be more responsible this time around. I don't know if I am overreacting as well as a stepmom. But I know as well, that his biological mom doesn't mind the sleepovers and all. I'm shaking my head

Little accidents will happen just as easy if you restrict them. They will do it in a car or a quite public place. "Oh crap we forgot condoms... ahh, stuff it, let's just risk it."
Where as in the bedroom at your place condoms will be safe in the draw at all times.

They are adults. Let them have their independence.

Op of this thread: I know it’s hard as the kids go through different ages and stages of life, as parents we kinda got “keep up”. I also didn’t grow up in a sleep over environment. Look at it this way as someone else mentioned; under your roof where it’s safe with extra adult guidance is 100 times better than out on the streets doing god knows what. It’s a sleepover not a pot party! You sound like you’re from America, sleepover would be a heaven sent activity compared to what we see on the news in relation to teens and young adults of the USA getting themselves into. What does his father say? Like I suggested set the rules and boundaries and take it from there!

His dad says let him be.. but my thing is, he is still under our roof.. so I said, there are rules that needs to be followed, if he is still living with us then.

Likely they had a little accident because they were having to hide the healthy idea of having sex in a relationship. I can understand how you feel but sex is very much a part of being a human, and hanging out with your partner is the same. Your younger one is going to be older too one day and are you going to behave the same? I honestly think we are too conservative to our own detriment, I liked the other comment about allowing our child to see a loving relationship instead of keeping all the doors shut.. this could be a wonderful opportunity to see your step son. Also you do two things I don’t like- minimise his paying rent by saying you are putting it away- that is your choice! Secondly, you are judging her, life is tough for everyone and it would be nice if you be supportive and listen to your husband despite your own weird feelings.

Was coming to say the same thing. I don't get the whole you need to get out because you have a girlfriend. Weird to me.