What would you do?
Answered 1 year ago
Long story short boyfriend of 3 years said he “would get engaged tomorrow”, made a lot of banter and fanfare about it happening on my birthday and in the end it didn’t. He said that he was waiting for an important date. That date was a month later. That came and went too and nothing. The disappointment is unbearable. I told him not to bother in the future, I am hurt beyond words and can’t figure out why if he was waiting on something specific or he didn’t want this to happen he wouldn’t just communicate that with me.
We are 41 & 43 years old.
Would you leave?
Have an answer?
And in all honesty, if you aren't 100% then you should move on. Bringing up someone's children and being controlled isnt living your best life and you deserve that. And he deserves to take time to sort out his emotional baggage alone.
That is probably the most levelled headed and thoughtful response and I have read it and reread it multiple times and I think your 100% right
Would it be a bad thing to stay de facto? Getting married doesn't mean it'll last forever.
De facto is fine, it is what it is in terms of a term for what is actually occurring.
I have been wondering what it would be like to just have only me to answer to and not have to deal with peoples baggage, the ex wife (who is truely fucking horrible. Sorry), the emotional fallout from his previous marriage and how that is manifested in real life, the expectations - and their are many...
What it would be like to just make decisions for me and my kids and no one else. My kids are nearly grown. They are great kids. If I sign on here I am getting another 10 years of “parenting” his kids and after three years with him I know that is exactly what I am signing up for because he just wants to be their mate.