No sex drive while breastfeeding
Answered 5 years ago
How do you get your sex drive back?
I'm still feeding my almost 2 year old - right now its only 1-2 times a day before sleep but I still don't have my sex drive back. Its starting to affect my relationship - he has been incredibly understanding as to the whole hormones that affect the libido and everything but last night he told me that he is sick of trying and isn't going to bother trying anymore. He told me that its really starting to affect his self esteem when I turn him down 9 times out of 10. He said some other stuff that hurt me but I understand where he is coming from. I just don't know what to do. Do I stop feeding? Is there something I can take/do to get my libido back? Sex was such a big part of our relationship before kids and now we do it once a month if we are lucky.
Please no bashing him. Im glad he was able to tell me how he feels but I'm feeling really angry/upset with myself that it has gotten to this point.
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Answers
It’s been a year and a half since iv last breastfed and I’m starting to feel like sex again.
My husband was incredibly patient, occasionally complained or threw it out in argument but mostly just endured the fraught which sometimes saw months go by. I think there was sometimes 4 or 5 month stints.
Recently aftersex he told me he feel horny all the time, I said well you never try, I’ll make a deal for the next while I wont say no as best I can, and you are never to wake me up for sex.
It’s been working so far (3months)
We’ve gone from once a month or two, to twice or 3 sometimes 4 a week. I’m thinking about sex more, wanting it more.
And I can feel hormones settling in my body .
I thought I’d never want sex again at some points, I though I could happily be single.
But all this make my husband and is life that much more . How deep is our love to survive through rearing kids who literally hope in the middle of us. How deep our friendship is to survive terrible no sex periods.
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There will come a day sooner that you can grasp where it’s just you and hubby again and the kids are always. Busy..... and you’ll re connect like young lovers you once were meeting again but so much deeper.
Our sexthis time aroundhknestly is giving me flashbacks of those first de months we fell in loveZ
It’s been a nice surprise
Good luck
Sex comes across as a chore to keep your man from bedding a young slim girl or walking off on porn
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When I was breastfeeding my middle child we were in a similar situation. I made myself just try. Just try to kiss him and cuddle him. Just try touching him. Just try touching myself. Just try to have sex once a week. Then maybe twice a week. Then before I knew it, we were back to being at it like rabbits (also when our youngest was conceived- woops).
Can you try and initiate sex? I know you're tired, and not really in the mood. Maybe try reading some smutty stories and chuck back a wine after the tiny tot is in bed. Jump on him. He wants to feel wanted again, so, get on it.
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I’ve been trying to initiate it more recently because I knew that he was getting disappointed but after last night he said that he didn’t want me to even try for a bit. He just wants to not think about it at the moment.
I’m going to speak to him again tonight about it. I know I haven’t been putting in enough effort and I’ve definitely been turning him down way too much so I get we’re he is coming from.