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I've asked my husband not to do something and he has done it anyway

There is little to no respect there.
I have asked him to not do something and I found out tonight he has done it again and I told him I am done. He can go tomorrow. He is a grown man I can't tell him what to do but I can tell him how I feel and what I will and won't put up with.
Even if he thinks it's stupid if it upsets me he should have more respect! Furious right now.

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Answers (11)

I just left my husband over him making decisions that negatively affect my life. Sometimes you have to put yourself obove your marriage.

I left a relationship like this had to for my own mental health but my situation escalated with him messaging these girls to meet up for sex.
My now husband knows I have a real issue with porn and he respects how I feel so he doesn't watch it (and no he doesn't do it behind my back) I sometimes offer to watch it together but he has lost interest in porn. It's not hard to show someone respect and he isn't respecting you. He either gets help or you may have to leave because his addiction will destroy your sense of self and your mental health

 I agree my husbands porn addiction has played havoc on my self esteem. I’ve only just come to the realisation that I’ve been letting him treat me like a door mat because I don’t feel worthy or good enough for him. It’s starting to affect my mental health. Wish I had of done more in the past or left. He says sorry every time it comes up but I struggle to get over the feelings of rejection (he was rejecting my advances of sex and turning to porn).
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What is it? All hinges on whether or not it’s reasonable or a heal-breaker

 Agree!
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 Ditto, if its something trivial like he doesn't put his plate in the dishwasher.. then meh. But leading on someone you know that has a crush on him. Fair enough
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 Bet you anything it was watching porn.
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 ^^ your a bit behind the 8 ball she said 3 days ago it was porn...
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 This reply came up first for me, didn't check the times (der) oh well. Still, called it!
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Sooo I watched the video and it's just some barely even attractive chick in a bikini with a really annoying voice.. I don't get it, you would see more at the actual beach? Or on a TV ad.
I think you're being crazy town.

 Your disappointed that it wasn't better aren't you? 😆
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 I was pretty disappointed lol
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If it really is an addiction he need professional help, not an ultimatum

OP I have tried to get him help! Can't help someone that doesn't want to help himself.
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I hear you sister. My husband also did something that I just asked him please not to do!!!! TOTAL LACK OF RESPECT!!! I’m going to ask him that if he asked me not to do something that bothered him and I did it anyway how did that make you think of me. Reverse the situation but most men are idiots I can do what they wanna do anyway. I can’t even believe I say that about man but being my second marriage and seeing how they act I’m done too!!! YOU AND I DESERVE BETTER! We at least deserve to have our feelings recognized. I will tell my husband what to do either, I just tell him what I need in a relationship if you can’t give me that and he needs to be single!!

Good for you. The reason is unimportant. The fact he has no respect for himself or you speaks volumes. Stick to your guns.

 Agree. and if you don’t wash a dish properly, and he doesn’t like it...well he should f**k your off for the same reason...just sayin
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OP I don't think washing a dish bad and getting not liking it is the same TBH
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It's a porn addiction that has now crossed over to facebook videos! He didn't realise you can check videos watched on facebook. It's more the lying and lack of respect I brought it up tonight and even though he is wrong I am stupid.... No as stupid as some.. He's going to lose everything for what? Idiot

 Is there open videos on fb?
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 *porn not open sorry autocorrect
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OP There is everywhere, trust me when your married to an addict you would be surprised where they find something they can use
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 I have a banging body and my hubby still rejects me for porn.
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 If it's an addiction then just asking him to stop won't work. Think of it as the same as a drug or alcohol addiction. He needs to be able to admit that he has a problem, then he needs a plan, a support group, a therapist - something! If you don't want to help him set that up, that's fine, just saying, asking him to stop & expecting that to happen is a little unrealistic.
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OP I have tried to set it up for him, he doesn't want help... So stop or I go was my only card
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Doesn't sound like he was taking you very seriously. Porn addiction...i have a chocolate addiction because i enjoy it but i understand there are consequences from having too much so i try to limit it. It's called being an adult & making the right choices. People use the word addiction so they don't have to take responsibility for anything.
I don't know about porn on Facebook how does that work? Are they working girls? Is he paying for it?

OP He has got a few requests from cam girls on FB but they send them to a lot of people..
Tonight wasn't so much porn but a video i'll put the link below.

https://www.facebook.com/SISwimsuit/videos/1976625585703177/

You may look at and think I'm overreacting but it's no appropriate I don't think.. Not when he knows how I feel.

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 Yeah I'm not watching it besides i don't do facebook.
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 Addiction to porn is a real thing. I mean, yeah, self control would have stopped it happening in the first place. But the same can be said of any addiction. The whole point of an addiction is that you CAN'T just stop anytime you want. You don't have that self control or willpower or whatever, you need help to overcome it.
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I can never understand why porn is such an issue for women.

 It’s the lack of sex and affection that hurts the most. For me it has nothing to do with jealousy. But the fact that my needs aren’t being met while he turns elsewhere to get his met.
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 Your missing the point. She's repeatedly asked him not to & doesn't care how she feels about it & does it anyway. The point is HE DOESN'T CARE HOW SHE FEELS.
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 OP here on a different comp. i dont know about you but i dont take it nicely when my husband rejects me and then watches porn and gets himself off, I can understand when he says oh im tired and or whatever if he isnt in the mood and i am the same sometimes but to flat out reject me and watch porn hurts! like WTF am i here for and if i am not good enough?
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 Same. My hubby kept rejecting me for weeks. I adored him I would beg for sex only to be rejected. One day I picked up his phone to use google and saw his history, he had been watching porn daily for as far back as I could see (weeks). My heart broke that day and my feelings for him will never be the same.
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