Wife never makes me feel desired or lets me know she feels I’m handsome or anything of that sort. I tell her all the tim
Answered 4 years ago
Wife never makes me feel desired or lets me know she feels I’m handsome or anything of that sort. I tell her all the time how beautiful I think she is. She has told me she is just not like that, that she is used to receiving but not giving any compliments like that. She feels if she doesn’t she will make my head big allowing to feel attractive and sexy which I guess in her head that’s bad because then I may look for attention. Don’t know how she ever got that when I have always told her I care about what she has to say of me only.
Same thing with sex, she feels like the men should be the one to initiate. And the few times she does because well now we have fought about this I should always say yes regardless if I’m not feeling well or whatever it may be. I suffer from chronic insomnia and it’s so hard to just get by on a regular day I try and do the best I can, I clean most the time at home and cook as well. We both work full time. She get irritated if food is not ready when I get home and gets upset if I manage to workout even if it’s for 15 min and then not come to her for sex at night when I’m exhausted from my day. She says if you have energy to work it then you should want to have sex with me. But then she never comes to me for it. She never makes me feel like she desired me it’s more like she loves the feeling of men desiring her
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I'm guessing neither of you are 'perfect'. There may be some underlining resentment or issues that haven't been dealt with, or the 'Love Bank' between you needs more deposits. Maybe you're taking each other for granted in different ways. Nobody really knows the inner workings of a relationship. Get some counselling as previously suggested, and give it some time to implement new strategies. Leaving isn't necessarily the answer, the same problems may occur in a new relationship when the honeymoon period ends & normal life resumes.
You are both deserving of a loving & fulfilling union, you're just not in the same page at the moment. Don't throw it away without trying to truly understand each other.
Goodluck Xx
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I think the best thing you can do is go to couples counseling together. Maybe a professional will be able to check your wifes ego a bit and bring her down to earth. Otherwise, seperating is an option too.
You deserve to feel loved and appreciated. And you have the RIGHT to say no to sex and have that respected.
You are a badass fucking king! You deserve to be treated as such, just as she demands to be treated like a queen. As a man, people aren't quick to romanticise the shit you do like they do with women (eg if a woman farts people commend her for "being real" and tell her that men should worship the ground she walks on she's such a goddess). So YOU have to romanticise it yourself. You're not just cooking some spaghetti, you're preparing a cullinary delight that explores the Italian culture. You're not just 6 foot tall, you're statuesque like a viking raider. Do you get what I mean? Talk yourself up into some self confidence, and tell her to either see a therapist or kick rocks.
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Be proactive about looking after yourself. Go to the gym get ripped and go find a partner that loves and respects you. Watch her come on here crying that her husband didn't repeat her.