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Can't get on the same page with new house

In the market for a new house (in NZ) hubby and I can't get on the same page. I like a house he doesn't etc etc. How can I get through to him that we're never going to find the 'perfect' house and that we both need to compromise on things? Example, found a house that ticks 95% of the boxes (including his must have garaging) but it's on a main residential road (50km zone). He won't even go look at house because he's not keen on being on the main road because people might see his work truck in the driveway and then know where we live. Another one he wouldn't look at because he didn't like the colour of walls. It's driving me crazy, we were supposed to be out of this house nearly 2 years ago, the kids have NO space in their rooms and one doesn't even have a wardrobe! Any suggestions?


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Answers (4)

Main roads are different everywhere especially Nz. Like is it a main road in like Lower Hutt where it’ll be quite busy or is it a main road similar to greytown or Carterton where it’s a state highway. Just thinking noise etc. But the work truck... people drive everywhere they’ll spot it no matter what. Maybe he is deflecting another issue, like worried about the actual cost or scared to commit to a bigger home etc.

You really need to discuss with him and talk about what can be changed and what is suitable. If he isn’t willing to talk then I would ask him what is bothering him

OP We had made an offer on a house but got pipped at the post by another buyer. Nothing seems to compare to it, maybe that's why. He's a southern man, doesn't do talking 🙄
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I think he may not be ready to move so keeps looking for faults. Is he worried about money? Have a chat. I live on a busy residential road, 50km limit. No one does the limit and it’s noisy. I can see his point with that one.

I get the main road thing, also would you really want to live on a main road with kids?
Walls can be painted.
You both need to sit down and work out what is negotiable and what isn’t and go from there. If Yu find a house that you like and he doesn’t you need to find out exactly why he doesn’t like it and work out whether they are serious things to think about.

OP When I say main road, it's a 2 lane road in a residential area (a trunk road really) 50km speed limit in a city that has 50k people. Our kids are 10 and 12 so not concerned about road safety etc. I think he just hones in on the negatives on any house we look at or he's dead keen on ones out of our league!
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Sit down and have a chat. Walls can be painted and things can be changed easily. I feel for you. That’s frustrating.

OP I've tried 🤪his expectations are unrealistic for the price range we're looking at.
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