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Does your husband make an effort to make mother's day special?

Answered 1 year ago

Year after year I read about dissapointed mums who's deadbeat husbos didn't make any effort to make them feel special or even try to meet their (low) expectations and make their mother's day just a nice day, not even a simple gesture.
It's so sad, when your children are small your husband should suck it up and show some appreciation and love, to not only be kind but to set an example for his kids. It makes me so angry!
If your husband doesn't bother, I'm so sorry 🌹 Happy Mother's Day x


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ANSWER
1 year ago
I spent all week reminding my partner that it was Mother’s Day on Sunday. I told him I wanted at least a card, presents to be made/brought for me and to sleep in. I woke up at 6:30 with the kids, he didn’t get out of bed until 10, he rolled over and muttered happy Mother’s Day when I came into the room. There was no card, no breakfast, no present. Our kids are 5 and 2. They don’t understand what the day is. They’ve been in isolation with us for the past 6 weeks so no school presents or daycare mothers day present either.

We were supposed to go to my parents for a Mother’s Day bbq. I got the kids and myself dressed and ready to go and just when we were about to leave he decided that he wasn’t coming because I was in a mood and he didn’t want me to be a bitch to him all day. So I took the kids and left. I cried the whole way there, had to drive around for an extra 10 minutes waiting for the puffy post crying redness to go down. I told my parents he felt sick and that’s why he wasn’t there.

I went to my parents and had a lovely lunch. I stayed until dinner time, got home to him in bed watching a movie and the house still a mess. I showered the kids and myself and got them ready for bed by myself. Made school lunch, cleaned the house and folded 3 loads of washing while he watched his movie. When I finally came to bed around 10, he muttered something about I need to stop being a bit ha Nd he’s not a big gift person so I shouldn’t have expected anything.

We’ve spoken probably 10 words to each other since then. Stuck at home together today as the kids went back to school and daycare.

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1 year ago
You poor thing. I wish I could offer advice because I feel like this is quite normal now. I have just contacted someone myself for counselling with the hope to have it lead to marriage counselling. I feel like communication is at it’s worst between partners. I honestly feel like life is better without hubby, knowing that they are not coming makes life much easier. However, I do have a good time with him too.. it’s all so tricky, this marriage thing with kids. I feel for you

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1 year ago
One bit of advice I would have - is I think I remember here , someone said they partnered up with a friend to go buying gifts for the other’s children. perhaps this would be a solution to partners just not getting it

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1 year ago
That’s a good idea but I really don’t have any friends

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1 year ago
It’s abuse crying in front of your kids about your life

ANSWER
1 year ago
I got nothing. Not even a card. We spent the day out doing what hubby and son wanted. I had plans to have arvo tea with my mum and sister, but we got home too late so then i had to invite everyone to my house. After they all left I got frozen pizza for dinner...... it really upset me, because i do so much for my hubby and kids, so much do that others actually comment about how much i do and how im a much nicer and more accomodating mum than they are. I also hate that my kids aren't being taught to be appreciative. I dont need a gift etc but just some acknowledgement would be nice. The fact they couldn't be bothered to go to a shop, write a card, despite having time is what hurts. I prioritize them above myself constantly, but they can't take a few minutes to 'put themselves out' for me? Just sucks. Hubby wanted to go to the shops today and get me a mothers day present... nup, the day is over, i dont want a material thing for the sake of it and it's supposed to be from the kids - they were at school. Seriously, what's the fucking point? I've spent today having 'me' time. Watching netflix, had a bath and haven't done any housework.

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1 year ago
I absolutely agree with you concerning the kids seeing the lack of effort. Or, as mine are older, I feel bad that they are feeling bad for me. xxx

ANSWER
1 year ago
I told hubby i want him to make bacon & eggs for breakfast & new pjs. He cooked me breaky. Had to order and pay my pjs because every shop close to us sold out of woman's pjs (wth). But i got to rule that day everything was mummys choice. That's the part i love the most. Not having to consider anyone else just what do I want. What movie? What food? Etc

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1 year ago
Haha apparently all women want for mothers day is pyjamas and slippers according to the shops 😂😂

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1 year ago
That’s not true. They also want toasters.

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1 year ago
^and vacuum cleaners. And foot spas

ANSWER
1 year ago
My husband makes it special. He makes pancakes. Buys me a gift. Gets the kids to buy me a gift ( teenagers ). Doesn’t let me do housework. Makes me coffee all day.

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1 year ago

ANSWER
1 year ago
He invited all his family over for lunch, I think I was expected to have the house clean and a roast lunch ready. I haven't done anything, I keep getting hints about what they are having for lunch I just said I don't know, will be interesting to see what dh gets us. His jaw dropped in shock.

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1 year ago
You go girl

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1 year ago
I hate that his family didn't even pull him up for this!!! What an entitled bunch of pigs.

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1 year ago
What did he end up doing?

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1 year ago
Got takeaway.

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1 year ago
Hahaha. Well done. When my hubby makes plans without consulting me, I make it his responsibility to organise food. Mothers day or not

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1 year ago
I did the same as I do every mothers day, I buy my own gift, order takeaway (that I want no compromise) and put it all on the credit card that he pays off.

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1 year ago
I got a bunch of flowers and two handmade cards that i loved. We went for a walk/ bike ride and got take out.

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1 year ago
I just wanted a family walk... not only did he not feel like coming but he bribed one of the kids to stay home too saying he could watch tv. Then he disappeared to the shops for a good 3 hours to get stuff for dinner.
He did cook dinner tho... but I'm still cleaning up the mess today

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1 year ago
My sister got nothing as usual. Her kids are too young to go to shops themselves. Her husband has been home from work for weeks. Plenty of time to take the kids shopping. Mother’s Day was spent at our mums as it was her bday the same day. He just sat on his phone away from the family while the rest of us had a great time.

ANSWER
1 year ago
If you have that expectation that there should be a huge fuss, then you should tell your husband you want him to make a huge fuss. He's not a mind reader

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1 year ago
I said simple gesture. Not huge fuss. You don't have to be a mind reader nor a scholar to realise your wife deserves a cup of tea and card, making excuses for dickheads like this doesn't help any one.

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1 year ago
I'm not making excuses, i just don't see why people feel so entitled about these rubbishy commercialised holidays.

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1 year ago
Maybe because we do so much and give up a lot for no thanks. We are still human and deserve thank you and to feel loved and appreciated everyday. But on thia day its one day they should make us feel appreciated. Its not too muchto ask.

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1 year ago
Since when is wanting to partake in a dedicated day classed as being entitled?

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1 year ago
Leftover pizza and coffee in the morning, a sleep in, and went to see his parents and then my mum. Awesome day.

Got 2 cute homemade cards and an attempt of paper flowers. Best day :)

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1 year ago
Mine always makes it special. Today was magical, I'm truly blessed.

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1 year ago
Nope, just like every other event. I'm sick of not being worth even a tiny bit of effort.

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1 year ago
My Dad got up & made my Mum breakfast in bed. Pancakes with ice cream & mixed berries. None of us live at home anymore.
My ex. couldn’t even be bothered making porridge for me when we were together.

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1 year ago
😭 I just think it's so disrespectful to not make even a tiny ounce of effort and really shows a man's morals and values.

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1 year ago
My husband never used to do anything when he was 'just a step dad' he would say you're not my mum and they aren't my kids. Then my ex did nothing either and the msg to my kids was very clear. Mum isn't important any day of the year and we don't have to thank her. It broke my heart. One year I remember my husband slept in till 12pm then made himself bacon and eggs and did gardening listening to music on his own till 5pm I feel he got his own mothers day lol

Now we have our own child as well in the mix he does try. But honestly he is useless. I can't be nice about it. I buy my own pressie or need to specifically tell him what to get and go with him he shops last min in a panic saying he's just had NO time. Which makes me feel guilty. It's obvious it's a chore to him. Yesterday he said come on we better go to shops for your mother's day an hour before they closed and I just couldn't I was exhausted. He actually went on his own! Forgot a card, forgot to scan flybuys and got me the jumper I asked for but rang me 6 times about it, what shop again? Where in the shop? Can you send me a pic? Then forgot to get security tag off it. He said he would get the 2 books my mum wanted and came home with 1. But it's an improvement!

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1 year ago
This morning we both slept in till ten as my 4yr old played but kept coming& talking to me. Hubby sd leave mum alone it's mother's day she deserves a sleep in then roll over n sleep! Then lil one sd can we have nutri grain together n watch bluey mum which was cute so I got up. Hubby I will make you bfast today! Yay. He only put a splash of milk in when I said it's not enough for me he gave me a big lecture on how I use too much milk and no I can't have more! That's rude any day but jeez it's my mother's day bfast! Then he watched YouTube for 2 hours while I cleaned. I said maybe you could get ready for the shops as we need to get my mum's other book and my jumper sorted. That was 3 hours ago hes still not ready

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1 year ago
I also said could you help me clean and he jumped up and said ok! That moment I can say I was truly happy as he didn't hesitate or complain. But it was a joke I didn't realise and he sat down again. Then I dared to complain about nobody helping me and he went psycho saying i expect too much for mothers day and if one bit of the day isn't perfect I sulk and ruin the day and it's my fault he can't possibly live up to my high expectations. Honestly all I asked for was a block of choc, handmade card, a sleep in and a family walk. Now he's watching YouTube again and we may not even make it to the shops in time and I'll forget the walk. I'm not expecting too much he's just a loser.

ANSWER
1 year ago
No, I go out of my way to ensure his bday and fathers day are special you know a cake ans gifts cards etcbut i get nothing. Not even a card.

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1 year ago
So this year Im not doing for him. Sorry but after 12 years im done.

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1 year ago
We are almost divorced and he makes a bigger effort now than when we were married.... my birthday & Mother’s day fall in the same week and he took the kids to the shop to get me something for both.... I’m just happy with my kids by my side on both days!

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1 year ago
I told my hubby I wanted a handmade card, and he managed that with our two kids so I'm happy. Other than that it's mostly a normal day which is fine by me.

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1 year ago
Not a huge fuss and I’m fine with that because I hate a fuss. A card and flowers occasionally, stuff the kids have made at school, breakfast, family time. That’s it and that’s perfect.