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Actual real punishments for 15year old girl

She's a brat. Gets to school, attends one class, fucks off rest of the day. Had a phone, had it taken off her because she kept sending nudes. To anyone/everyone. Turns out that doesn't matter because she uses friends phones to send nudes.
She's grounded, so other than school she's not meant to go anywhere but she just skips anyway so that's all fun and games for her.
School is fed up. I am fed up.
I want actual punishments that worked on other girls similar. Not airy fairy things either.


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Answers (20)

A kid at my daughters school kept leaving. His mum attended school with him everyday for weeks. Sat next to him in class. Followed him everywhere. Embarrassed the hell out of him. Took a while but he stopped wagging.

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OP It's a good idea!
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Take everything she owns, except school uniform and pjs. She gets things back when she behaves.

 I agree with this. While she’s out, take everything she owns except the bare minimum.
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OP I like that idea, I was thinking about the family was on TV after removing everything except their daughter's mattress and wondered if it helped 😂
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 And her bedroom door. Sending inappropriate pictures means privacy is earned.
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OP We tried that for a while 😂
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There are a few "adventure" camps out there that would sort her out. Things like Outward Bound, Green Super Camp, Armed for Life, etc. They'll take her out into the middle of nowhere and teach her leadership and self esteem skills and make her miss home. She might even find herself reevaluating her behaviour. I suggest you have a google, and also try and line up a new school for her after. Just like let her know when she gets back its to help her with her fresh start. My parents sent me to one during the middle of my rebellious phase and I came home with a complete new outlook. I changed schools, made better friends and never looked back. I didn't turn into a saint. But the majority of the bullshit stopped. And I wanted better for myself.

 Or try landmark forum
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OP Will google these thanks
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 Please, for the sake of your daughter, yourself, your family, friends and everyone else, DO NOT go to landmark forum. It will cost you everything, including your daughter. Research their founder- Werner Erhard.

A psychologist who specialises in teens is the better option.

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Can I ask... is the school the right one for her? Would a different school be better? There are alternate schools that are for truant or troubled teens which do schooling, life skills, work experience etc and treat the kids as more of an adult than a kid. Also TAFE has options too. I pulled my son out of school at 15 because of behaviour from peer pressure and he just didnt want to be there. I put him in TAFE to finish year 10 and then a 6 month pre apprenticeship. 4 years on he is on his career path with an apprenticeship and doing so well.

Maybe punishment isnt the right thing for your daughter (maybe it is not my place to say) I am just suggesting that her behaviour may be as a result of other issues and changing her schooling or options may assist you and her with the behaviouur issues because I do know it help my son and I.

From a mother whose daughter left home at 16, there is no punishment you can give at this age that will end well. You will be seen as the nasty bad guy that is trying to ruin her life and the more you try and control her the more she is going to want to break free, and if she does theres not a damn thing you can do about it. I suggest what all the experts tell you not to do, and that is be her friend. Take her out for the day, talk to her like you would your friends. Build her trust. Treat her like an adult and she might just meet the challenge by acting like one.

Go to school with her. Embarrass the hell out of her!!!! If she kicks up a stink, tell her how embarrassing her behaviour is!!! Tell her everybody has had enough!!! Sit with her all day!!!! Make her understand that until her behaviour changes you will attend school with her every damn single day!!! Drop her off at the office, pick her up from the office!!! ! How is she leaving school?? Where is she going?? Is she walking or in a car?? Stalk the car park. Sit there all day if you have too!!!
You need to end this now!!!! Of that doesn’t work, take her to the police station. Get them to talk to her about her silly behaviour & the consequences that will follow for sending nudes.
This should be your number 1 priority right now!!! Good luck.

OP She just walks off school premises between class room changes. She is on their high alert for truancy list but still does it. I thought about going to police station for the nudes, but at same time don't want to waste their time either
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 Do you know her friends parents? Could you ask them to talk to their kids about lending her their phone?
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 Then sit at the school and march her a*s back in!!!
You will not be wasting the police time by getting them to have a serious conversation with your daughter!!!! It’s eother have this conversation now, or have a conversation when someone she is sending the nudes to files a complaint with the police!!!

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 Distribution of child pornography. If you are at breaking point it might be time to speak to the police about it and all the options.
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OP I feel like sitting in class with her may be the best option to ensure she actually attends!
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 Yes yes yes. Absolutely go to school with her. It’s tough love from you!! That is exactly what she needs.
Get your daughter back before it is too late!!!

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 I agree. Warning from the cops
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Take her to the police station. Sending nudes at 15 is classed as distributing child pornography right? Wagging school is illegal? If she’s doing these already, as you say, airy fairy punishments won’t help her.

OP Yes I found and showed her articles where children were in serious trouble over sending images and some who received them ended up on sex offender registry as they still had images once they turned 18!! Maybe because it's not directly happened to her she thinks it's not a real issue. I wonder if the school can get the police in to talk to all the girls in her age group. I showed her a documentary about girls who's nudes were shown to the whole school and she was bullied and she just shrugged it off like that wouldn't bother her at all. The only thing that makes me feel any better is I know she's not using drugs at least not yet! She was such a sweet girl 12 months ago too. I expected difficult behaviour but I thought she'd have more respect for herself at least
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 This is exactly the problem op, she doesn’t have self respect and as she gets older this can open a whole new can or worms. This is going from sending nudes to having sex with anyone and everyone and not having enough self respect to use protection and then starting on drugs cos it’s ‘cool’ or ‘ others are doing it’
You really need to nip this in the bud and find something that will work for you. Why don’t you go to the police station while she’s (supposed to be) at school, and get the police to pick her up and take her back to the station. The harsher they are with her maybe it will be better?

But I think the camp ideas are good ones.
Goodluck mate. Sounds like you need it ❤️

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 Its not about respect its clearly rebellion. What happened in the last 12 months?
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 Is the father still in the picture? I imagine him having a sit down with her and saying “well let’s have a look at these pictures that are causing all the problems “ might make her totally cringe across the table from him. The realisation that anyone of any age could be looking at these images might make her think twice about distributing them. If she doesn’t care him seeing them, I would be asking what has happened in the last 12 months to make her feel her body is worthless. Get to the bottom of it.
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Home school. This was how my parents turned me around. They worked opposite shifts so i was never alone. I had zero social contact for 6 months. A computer program does the teaching so even my highschool drop out parents could homeschool. They just had to sit with me to make sure i was doing the work and not chatting with my friends. The mext schook year, i returned to traditional school in a new district and stopped acting like a wild animal.

No one wants the s**t they just want to play with her then f**k her off.
Every guy wants the unicorn the one that is beautiful is hard to get.
Your daughter has fu***d her whole high school experience because even years from now people will still have her naked photos.
Send her to a high school that’s in a whole different town.
Tell her when she is 16 if she wants to go out and not go to school and be a wh**e fine but she ain’t living in your house, simple.
Other then that nothing you can do.

By the sounds of it she’s already fu***d just let her go experience some life and she will have to sort herself out now it’s to late.
I’m sorry this is harsh but not much other advice sorry

 Wow so many things wrong with this post i don't know where to start. I doubt she actually cares about what guys want its a form of rebellion clearly
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I'd be inclined to get her in with a shrink. This kind of behaviour likely isn't occurring out if nowhere. Something has happened in a big way to have her devaluing herself so much, especially as you said she was so sweet a year ago.

OP she had a psychiatrist but they only prescribe medication for her rather than dig deeper so she sees a counsellor but she's very hostile towards them and won't open up
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 Yeah, you need a psychologist for that reason. They're more qualified than a counsellor, and a psychiatrist, as you've said only prescribes meds. It may take a few goes for her to find one that she clicks with, but a good one will have strategies to deal with her hostility and break down her walls.
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 Yes, this girl needs professional support not punishment.
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 May I just say that they don't prescribe meds to kids easily at all, I had to jump through hoops to get my teenager on anti depressants and it wasn't until he showed suicidal thoughts that they finally listened. If they think she needs medication then maybe they know more than what you do.
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OP Meds were prescribed on first visit to psych. That psych does not do any form of counselling. In fact the appointment was less than 7 minutes.
How can you tell if someone needs medication in 7 minutes? It went like this "why don't you like school, are there bullies etc etc?" "because school is dumb".. And then nothing more from my child, and no more advice from psych on where to get counselling or anything. And just to go back to GP in a month to see if medication improved mood.
The school have been the biggest support with getting her referral to counselling and school psych. But this is during school time do she does not attend as she just skips everything.

Currently looking into online schooling programs/distance education

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Punishment is not the answer. Take ‘punishment’ out of your vocabulry.

This was me when I was that age! I was actually friends with the good girls at school but I still felt pressure to be cool by having sex, sending nudes and sneaking out at night etc. My mum finally made me move schools and at first I absolutely hated her for it, but after not too long at all I got settled, made new friends and started to settle down. Then just as I settled she decided to pull me out and send me back to the old school, claiming she was just doing what I'd asked her too (even though I'd stopped asking). I went back to my old school and everything went right back to how it was before.
If it's normal at your daughters school to send nudes and behave like that then she needs a new school. Give her a hardcore shakeup, it's your only shot. Send her to one of the camps suggested over the holidays and tell her when she gets back she'll have a fresh start at a new school.
Now looking back, I wish my mum would've given me such a hard kick up the arse.

Could you just say it's your life, but what do you plan to do when you fail school? You won't be living here so you need to plan your future. Find out what she will get from centre link and then look at possible places to live, show her what it will be like.