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Why do controlling people think they are caring about you ?

My mother in law thinks she’s caring when she asks suttle questions about my and hubbys finances
She says you can come to me anytime if you need money and next sentence she says hope you both are saving

Says hope you aren’t using credit card too much and if you are hope you aren’t paying too much interest


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Answers (6)

I would need more back story on MIL to say she's controlling. I've legit said that to friends of mine before who I know are terrible with money, and it wasn't because I was controlling, I just wanted to drop hints that they suck with money and need to rethink things.

 She says why do you buy this brand of food or non perishables
You can save $12 a week if you buy some homebrand items
We don’t like homebrand gravy coffee tea baked beans biscuits for example

helpful (0) 
 Yes, there are definitely a few things you don't want to get home brand.
helpful (1) 

I honestly don’t think that’s controlling and although it may be annoying I think you need to grow a thicker skin.....people get offended so easily at everything these days. She is family so just nod and say thanks for the offer of help but we’re doing fine then change the subject ect.
Why let it get to you? Ignore it and move on with your day

I don’t see how any of that is controlling. She is offering help.

 Why give advice you didn’t ask for
Why ask personal questions

helpful (0) 
 Still not controlling
helpful (2) 
 Agreed. You're just having a whinge as you clearly have issues with your MIL - this your real problem. Lighten up. Let it roll off you. It's not a big deal really.
helpful (0) 
 I agree it’s not controlling. Interfering maybe, but not controlling.
helpful (0) 

It is controlling. Having every decision you make questioned is controlling behavior. Call her out, change subject or ignore her for a few weeks to give her the message not to ask personal questions.

My mum asks me about financial stuff all the time, the last one was about not going on a Holiday if he haven't paid off our credit card, I said could you book the kettle for me please, and would you like a coffee.