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Feeling fat & horrible

Answered 3 years ago

I'm currently 32 weeks pregnant and hubby keeps calling me fat, he has said as soon as the doc gives the ok - he'll hire a personal trainer to help me lose weight, if I get back down to 50kg and maintain (after the birth of my 1 year old my normal weight is 65kg, currently 74kg pregnant) hubby will buy me a whole new designer wardrobe as a reward.
This makes me feel sooooo shit!
The last time we had sex I FELL PREGNANT, he hasn't touched me since, everytime I initiate he tells me he's just had a wank in the shower - meanwhile I'm usually cooking dinner and/or feeding our toddler.
Due to SEVERE back pain I can barely stand upright let alone walk properly, I constantly have my toddler hanging off me screaming (teething) I can't sleep from the back pain, hubby talks in his sleep, toddler wakes, dogs need to go outside, I have incredible heartburn, restless legs, need to pee ALL THE TIME and when I look at myself in the mirror I only see a tired old fat hag and its about to get worse after I give birth!
Hubby works 14-18hr days running our business so I have to do everything else and do all the bookwork/payroll. I have not a bit of energy left and I'm freaking out about having 2 under 2 and how it's going to affect me, my body and my marriage.


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ANSWER
3 years ago
I am shicked to read this. The probkem is your husband. I put on a good 25kg for each of my three children, and I delivered the most beautiful children ever(yes they drive me nuts some times). I am sad to see youfocusing on a number.. 50kg is a highschool number, not the number of a woman who is raising children and who is more wise than that. Forgetthe designer wardrobe, it will just make you fail having such a silly motivator...you're not a child either.

Again, the problem is your husband. Im not saying we might not want to lose a little weight here or there, but you're all confused on priorities. Even if you get to this weight, the goalposts will change and it will be something else silly to distract yoyr husband with. He is the problem

Replies

REPLY
3 years ago
Oh I couldn't care less about the wardrobe or the 50kg (although I'm short and petite and the 50kg is ideal bmi for my body)
It's about how horrible his expectations are. I'm definitely not focused on losing weight - I want to enjoy time my children.
At the same time, I feel completely devastated that I look at myself and find a totally different person looking back.

REPLY
3 years ago
But you are pregnant... You are using very negative words here...devestated, fat, horrible. I find it a bit contradictory to be honest.

ANSWER
3 years ago
Tell your husband to hire a bookkeeper instead of a personal trainer then leave his arse. You’re better off without him.

ANSWER
3 years ago
Reading your post irritated me for your sake. Your husband has absolutely no right to tell you how much you should weigh. He also has no right to hire a personal trainer if you dont want one. From what you wrote he seems to be exerting too much control over you. If you have a spare moment look up gaslighting, it sounds like this might be happening to you.

ANSWER
3 years ago
You are beautiful. You are worthy of love. You deserve to love that amazing body of yours that has been through pregnancy and child birth. She is a magnificent vessel that has hosted and hosts not only babies but your beautiful self in there. Love her the way she needs to be loved. Look at her with the admiration she deserves. Think back on everything she has done for you. She’s kept you alive until this point, don’t tell her she is fat and ugly - she is strong and worthy.

ANSWER
3 years ago
I have to agree with the pp. your husband has unrealistic expectations of you! What kind of man calls his pregnant wife fat?

If you want to lose weight, do if for yourself. Not because of him. What a despicable excuse for a human being.