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Desperate for alone time

Answered 2 years ago

I'm always loved alone time,it's the only time I'm happy, relaxed and content.Nobody seems to understand, even my psychologist doesn't as I've tried to explain over the years.Im really struggling right now as my young kids are home, adult daughter and partner as they lost jobs, husband seems to always be around as he does shift work AND wants more sex of late! I'm still working as essential worker and my job is in a communal office helping people! My house is tiny with nowhere to escape. I've been walking my dog every day, he whines the whole time from excitement which makes me more crazy then I bump into all our neighbours.Strangers all start conversations, they are obviously craving connection.This isolation is not isolating enough! I'm actually so miserable I'm getting suicidal thoughts as I feel so smothered. I try to watch my show on the iPad in bed with headphones to be alone and get interrupted every 5 mins till I give up. Help any ideas appreciated! Anyone else love alone time?


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ANSWER
2 years ago
Could you go for a drive and just park somewhere nice like at the beach. Take a book or have a nap.

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REPLY
2 years ago
You can’t drive anywhere non essential.

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2 years ago
Yes good idea I will !

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2 years ago
Nice idea. Depends where you live. Can't just go for a drive in nsw at the moment.

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2 years ago
Tell the police you are taking time away from your family because you are going nuts, remind them you are not getting out of your car.
Or
Chose your parking space well, at a hospital, doctors surgery, woolies, bar a chemist , police station... than you are waiting for someone

REPLY
2 years ago
You can drive if it’s not essential , in WA anyway. The luckiest state. We are allowed to drive within regions and our city to Mandurah region is huge. We can drive down to our local beaches as long as we are social distancing.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I have been going fucking nuts today! I went and parked my car in my friends back driveway for an hour. Wrote a shopping list and a to do list. Drank a drive through coffee on the way home

ANSWER
2 years ago
Get an old school really obvious pair of headphones to wear while walking (and leave the dog at home if possible- get someone else to walk it, or go for two walks). Listen to some music or a podcast while you walk, or even if you have nothing going it tends to stop people trying to talk to you if you've got headphones on 🙂

ANSWER
2 years ago
I could have wrote this question! The dog drives me nuts too, and every where i go people talk me! Ha! Ive started leaving the dog at home (make one of the kids do it!) and walking on my own for at least an hour
each day, its my most happiest time, often i cant be bothered with the walk but i always make myself and it’s the best, from tomorrow im doing it twice a day (at least!) and have told myself i can always go a third time if i need the space. Also my kids are in bed no latter then 7:30 every night NO MATTER WHAT my 16 yr old is also in her room from about that time, she can come out but we both have an understanding that the evenings are MY time to be alone, which is very important to me and the happyness of the whole family. Knowing i have these alone time options available to me each day is comfort in its self! Also when you go shopping or whatever, take an extra 30 min or so for yourself to just sit in the car or whatever.

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REPLY
2 years ago
And dont feel guilty about any of it! You sound like me, alone time is crucial to my existence, it took me about 20 years to work it out, but once i did and incorporated it in my life as a priority ive never looked back, and people around me know i need to be alone at least some of the day.

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2 years ago
Oh wow you get it! That really speaks to my soul as nobody seems to understand and think I must be socially anxious or depressed, no I just recharge by being alone and really, really enjoy it! I'm glad you've worked out some options to get alone time and you've given me some excellent ideas and I promise I will be copying them all as of tomorrow! Thanks so much x

REPLY
2 years ago
Oh great! Im glad i could help.

Ive already had my dog free hour walk today, sublime! Another thing you could do (depending which state you’re in) is announce to the whole family that tomorrow/next Monday/whenever is your RDO-from life, this means that the whole family must be up and out by 9am they can go for a walk together (take the dog!) do a mini shop and sit and have an out door socially distant chat together, tell them they must be out for at least 2 hours preferably 3! Dont allow any of them to take a house key and tell them the door will be locked till whatever time works for you. They will also have to organise dinner for the whole family that night and clean up afterwards. Let them know (if they dont already know) that if you get this time you will be a sweet and loving human, if you dont you may go mad and then everyone will be unhappy, if at all possible try to ‘roster in’ your ‘RDO’ regularly, good luck my lonesome loving friend! :)

ANSWER
2 years ago
I feel this so much >.< I’ve taken extended leave from my job, which I love, to be able to keep my children home for online education. Hubby is also working from home atm. I can’t get five minutes to myself without someone wanting something and it’s got me on the verge of a mental breakdown

ANSWER
2 years ago
I know exactly how you feel. I need my fortress of solitude to survive. My kids are at an age where they not only understand that’s how I am, they also have learnt the value of spending time alone to recharge. I have no advice to give you to help you get some alone time but really hope you do so you can feel better.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Chuck an "at home" sicky, feign a terrible migraine and get your husband or adult daughter to take charge of the little kids for the whole afternoon and evening, lock your bedroom door and watch your iPad under the covers. I feel you, I go nuts when I don't get solitude now and then too.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I love my alone time. Hubby is FIFO and has been away for a few weeks. Kids have left home so it is just me and the pets. Every day people ring and ask if I am okay and if I need anything. I tell them I am fine, thanks for thinking of me. Strangely he has been doing FIFO for 20 years and no one gave a fuck about me and the kids then. I am so used to being on my own when I have to be with people it stress me out. I understand your torment.

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2 years ago
Yes it's funny people didn't think about it back in the day when your kids were growing and you probably did need a hand or a listening ear! I'm glad they've realised now somewhat and I'm glad you also understand! It helps to know I'm not alone in enjoying alone time! I get stressed being around ppl too and so very drained

ANSWER
2 years ago
Tell your family what you need