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If your bf shows your kids affection when his kids aren’t around then doesn’t show them affection when his kids are can massively impact your children because they are going to think that they don’t matter now that his kids are around. So what he is trying to prevent to his own kids he is actually doing it to your children and not realising. When you are all together you need to all act normal and show everyone love.
I personally think you should all move in together to give the children more stability especially his kids, I don’t think it will be a disaster at all I think it will be really beneficial, your kids love him as you said.
Wishing you all the best of luck!
I agree with your point about affection to his and my children.
I honestly feel that moving in together would be a disaster so I'm trying to accept this wont happen. Can anyone help me get some perspective and accept this easier.
From experience. My ex and I moved in together, I have a daughter who was the youngest of our collective children who was 6 at the time and he had 4 kids between 9 and 17. He had his kids 50/50 and I had my daughter full time. Needless to say after a few years it turned out to be a complete disaster as his kids were jealous of me and my daughter because we "had him all the time"
His kids turned out to resent me for moving in and made our home a horrid place to live. The eldest one would be rude, call me names and just be flat out nasty while her father wasn't around and when I spoke to him about it he accused me of picking on her.
Absolute shit show.
I left and now couldn't be happier and ex is just now starting to see how his kids behave now that I'm not around to care for them and he has to do it all himself.
If your BF is already prioritizing his kids (which is fine but needs to hold ALL of your collective children in the same regard to eliminate tension and resentment) then it's over before it starts.
My now partner has 3 kids - all only slightly older than my daughter who is now 12 but they all get along fine. We will not be sharing a household until the kids are all grown and moved out. I won't put my daughter in that situation again.
My ex was like this - his kids could do no wrong and I was just a picky, nasty bitch.
Well suck shit now ex, they're your problem! ENJOY haha
Hi, how old are the children?
I have been in a relationship with my partner for over 3 years. We both have teenage children from our previous partners and we don’t live together. I love it! We still spend a lot of time together - it’s my dream relationship!
We may live together somewhere down the track when the kids have left home but I honestly think I love it how it is so am not sure I want to it change.
This happened with my husband and I. You guys needs to make the jump the Children will adjust Also discuss how your feeling with him.