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My husband watches pornography but does not like to have sex with me what shld i do ?


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Answers (5)

I am the same. Sex doesn't "work" for me the way I can work for myself while watching porn. Sorry but obviously the bedroom is quite dull, maybe try to spice it up or watch the porn with him and see what he likes. If he has reverted to porn (like myself) it means your sex life was stale and doesn't want to bother with the whole charade of it

 Isn’t the charade The porn though? If things are dull in the bedroom, wouldn’t you look for ways to spice it up? Watching porn to satisfy the need is a bit like sticking your head in the sand.
helpful (2) 

My first thought was to say....join him. But in trying to give some better advice - try to silo the "porn and masturbation" from the intimacy of "lovemaking" that you are after. Often masturbation is easy (and lazy) but emotionally often non-fulling (unless you're doing it in person or over video chat with another person...which is not really's a grey area). So what your partner is seeking is purely a non-emotional and quick release. So maybe you need to focus on the intimacy of your relationship, that for the immediate doesn't include sex, then build towards that. Try subtle approaches, touches, long kisses etc. If this doesn't seem to work, then maybe your partner needs to learn to disconnect porn for fulfillment and yes that's when counseling might be needed. Its really really hard to give an informed answer on here without observing your relationship and asking tons of probing questions of both parties. It could be a basic or a more in-depth problem that requires lots of communication, it's so hard to tell, but in any case, try to silo his fandom of porn from lovemaking. It will help you to know that they aren't the same and you can focus on rekindling toward "lovemaking" instead.

 Not the OP but this is fantastic advice. I really appreciate you taking the time to write this. OP just know you are not alone. I ended up seeking counseling over my husband’s porn addiction I was feeling so rejected. The councillor pretty much summed up the above. Masturbation is a quick release where as sex takes more effort but the rewards can be twice as great. We too lacked in affection and I wish I could have disconnected porn with sex much sooner. I wish I could tell you things improved in my situation but they didn’t. But I have come to peace with it.
helpful (0) 

I hate porn; but my hubby loves it. You could try laying on the bed on the opposite side, and start masturbating , or using toys. In not into that ; but he really get turned on .

Talk to him. If porn is effecting your relationship then he has a problem. And counselling is needed.