Got an Answer?
I would be really mad, at the act and deception, but that's only because every pot smoker I have known has either had psychotic episodes or gone into harder drugs.
My way of handling it wouldn't be the best way, so I suppose all you can do is educate her of the risks to her health, the law, what that can do to her future, etc
If she is say 16 if be saying no learner's permit, grounding and taking away things
I wouldn’t be surprised if the majority only smoke.
That being said my husband is absolutely addicted and I think it’s harmed him. I smoked for years before kids and it had no bearing on me.
But I come from a family of addicts and iv already had open age appropriate conversations with my 10 year old and will continue to go into more detail as I fear my kids are more susceptible to addiction (two parents and a whole host of family member with addictive personalities)
I for example have had the same lunch for 5 years, and before that it was another long streak of a certain meal so generally speaking most of my addictions have been healthy (barring my v addiction and my hubba bubba grape bubblegum addiction. Both I’m currently not on lol.)
BUT of all things I’m glad it’s weed for my husband. Though I’d prefer none, if it weren’t weed he’d be an alcoholic.
You really are between a rock and a hard place. Cracking down might just cause her to be more sneaky and that might increase her risk of hard drugs, in defiance.
Maybe, get together all the information you can on the dangers, and give her that and discuss it with her. Making the decision for herself to give it up might be the only option now. And if they make the decision in full knowledge of the consequences, they are more likely to resist peer pressure to conform to what they know has dangers.
My son got onto pot as a teenager, and he ended up changing personality and becoming secretive, devious, and unable to think straight. He went from a highly intelligent kid to one who became mentally very lazy, and wanted to take the easy way out. He never held down a decent job, or got any qualifications, and expected everyone else to fund his "wants". Never wanted to pay his own way.
So give her scientific information on the brain consequences.
Select some episodes of Highway patrol, where the drug users (including those just on pot), appear as losers who cant get it together - their excuses are classic examples of self delusion. And watch them together.
Go through the legal consequences with her, especially regards driving, as it stays in your system so much longer than booze. And spell out how losing your licence really curtails your freedom and life choices.
Be honest. Tell her you don't see it as a dangerous drug. Also tell her that like any mind altering substance, it's not healthy for teenagers because their brains are still forming. It can affect her brain chemistry, forever. Punish her for the deception, if you feel like you should, but be lenient because she did open up to you.
Why did they decide to tell you now?
Hmm tough situation. On one hand you don't want your children doing anything illegal or using substances that could damage their development, but on the other hand, you really want to keep that communication open and have the child trust you enough to tell you anything going on in their life that could impact them.