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Just found porn in my ex-porn-addict husbands phone

This is more of a rant I guess. I just have no one I can talk to about this.
Hubby has been acting funny for a few weeks and started having trouble climaxing again. I thought it was his new meds but I put on his favorite dress last night and he didnt even notice, so I just knew something was up and checked his internet history on his phone today while he was outside with the kids. I'm absolutely devastated. I thought this was all behind us but when I confronted him about it he said that he still jerks off to porn occasionally and his psychologist said that relapses from any addiction are to be expected from time to time and that there was no point hurting me by telling me (I do truly believe this, hubby would have been in emotional turmoil hiding something from me). I feel like he's using it as an excuse though.
I'm just so gutted. I feel like I've been living a lie and walking around oblivious to my own life. I thought we were finally in a good place. I can't believe I was so wrong.

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Answers (7)

I took a lot of the points and advice given here (thanks ladies!).
As I dug deeper I eventually got it out of him that it can sometimes be once or twice a week. I realised I was right and he'd been using what the psychologist said about relapsing as an excuse, which he eventually came to accept and admit. He ended up concluding that sometimes he just doesn't want to stop.
I made sure he knew how upset I was and told him point blank how much it hurts me when he does it, and what it is specifically that hurts.
He said how much he hates hurting me and he feels so guilty when he does it, that he wishes he could stop because he knows how good he has it at home. That he has the perfect family and wife and he's such a fu****g idiot for risking all that. That I was right and he justifies it by telling himself it's just a relapse and everyone relapses. He's going to try harder to stop. He's not making excuses anymore. He's going to see the psychologist again and speak honestly.
He said all the right things. So I guess we'll be good for the next 6 months until I start noticing him checking out certain shaped women and he starts being disinterested in me again.

I have an appointment with a psychologist tomorrow so I'll see how that goes. I'm just so bloody exhausted. I'm trying to push the thoughts aside but I do truly wonder if anyone out there could find me attractive anymore. Am I that horrible?

 Everything you wrote pens clearly, that you are an intelligent , well rounded, dedicated, caring , and strong woman. Those are incredibly attractive traits and I find it shocking that someone with those attributes that you own, could let yourself down and believe that his issues are your issues here. For all the spouses of porn addicts, please don’t think it has anything to do with you. You are up against a machine(consumerist escapism/distraction from inner pain), and also a brain that is based on rewards.. those are their brains. You are independent of this and your attractiveness is still completely there, but they are trying to escape whatever pain they are in/addiction because of their own issues and use porn as a self medication. I repeat, it has nothing to do with you.. and again I’m shocked(but not surprised because you’ve been through hell), that you could think it is because of any part of you.
helpful (2) 
 So yeah, my point? You are very attractive and anyone healthy would know it
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He's not an ex addict. He's a recovering addict. They're never recovered, with any addiction, and each day they make a choice. The good days will become more frequent as they develop their strategies and understand for themselves their reasons for indulging. I understand your hurt. Your feeling of betrayal. It's really important that you talk to him and tell him how hurt you are and for him to listen to that. He needs to have a session with his psych to discuss this. Are you receiving counselling yourself? It's unbelievably hard to love someone with an addiction, and especially a porn addiction because it can lead to negative feelings about yourself. Please remember, you are enough.

 I’ve been going through the same thing and I’m sure there are many just like us out their. It truly destroys your self esteem. I often wish I was better for him or wish I had married down.
I’m starting to loose my libido now so it doesn’t bother me as much.
Sorry I don’t have any advice but your certainly not alone!

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It’s just porn, join in and watch it with him! Forbidding him to watch it potentially makes it more attractive?

 I think the point is he has a porn addiction. I feel like that's like someone telling me I should calm down and enjoy a beer with my recovering alcoholic husband
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 I agree that ‘forbidding’ anything makes it appear more attractive. He is forbidden from viewing porn as he has an ‘addiction’ to porn. That makes it attractive. It’s human nature for everything -chocolate, carbs, porn... if you can’t have it, you tend to want it more, particularly in times of stress/anxiety. It’s a shame he doesn’t feel he can discuss this with you and has to hide it and be ‘caught out’ and reprimanded in whatever way that is. Does he say why he did it, was there a trigger? If you both know and can recognise his trigger points, maybe you can nip it in the bud before it occurs.
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I'm sorry you're going through this op. I hope you cabtibf someone to open up to and tell them this part of your life. Focus on yourself a little here,

Catch him out every time he does it. Don't ignore it he needs to feel u have eyes everywhere and be reminded it's so hurtful to u and wrong u shd have access to his phone . My husband also addicted to porn and slipped last year when I went away for a night he spent all night on chat sites I was furious! It opened the doors then and he started looking at webcams justifying that was ok. When I found that I didn't tell i just told him I'm exhausted with this and he shd leave and go be free to do all that stuff like he obviously wants and I'm holding him back. I think that scared him more than all my anger just my utter giving in and letting him go. I think he hasn't done anything since but I do know he will slip again. It's exhausting I feel u

 Sorry I meant I didn't yell about the webcams not I didn't tell
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Did he say sorry? I slipped up in a bad moment and regret it? I won't do it again have blocked those site etc? That's a relapse not I occasionally jerk off to porn still

It's true about relapses but he can't use that as an excuse or reason as to why he can look at it it's almost like giving himself permission