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My husband is disappointed in me

My husband found out tonight that I voted yes in the same sex marriage survey.
I didn't keep my vote from him - I completed the survey, left the envelope in my car for a week or so and then posted it when I had the chance. I really didn't think much more about it.
My husband and I have completely different opinions on SSM. He is very religious, and not on the electoral role due to his religious beliefs. He is very vocal on how he feels about SSM.
My husband has told me tonight that I have 'disappointed him' and knowing how strong his views are on SSM, I should have voted No.
I absolutely adore my husband and I have never had him tell me that I've 'disappointed' him. I'm devastated.
Did I do the wrong thing? Should I have voted with him in mind or should I have not voted at all? I didn't predict that I'd upset him, I thought he'd understand that it's a personal decision and I think that SSM people should be able to marry. (It's a conversation that we've had hundreds of times)


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Answers (17)

Maybe he should have enrolled so his opinion counted, he can not expect to take your voting rights from you.
Maybe tell him it is disappointing that he expects to have an influence over your vote!

 Yes I like this response, and I feel it opens it up to the most dialogue. You might add that you're disappointed that he's disappointed in you considering those points, especially considering it is religious reasons holding him back, then he should hold back his opinion on your voting. He must just be quite religious though, and in that sense, you're never going to convince him and you probably could have suspected this outcome
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 I am wondering what religion he is. I have never heard of such beliefs
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I believe that if you yourself are not on the electoral roll for whatever your reasoning is then you do not have the right to have an opinion about what we are being asked it vote for and you also don't have any right to complain if the results are not what you wanted.

I think your husband is a fruit cake. If he is not on the electroll roll, he has no right to a opinion.
Since when do you do what he says all the time, grow up, stand up to your man, you are not a mouse.
You have a voice, use it honey.
we all knew yes would win anyway.

Voting aside, you have a bigger issue here and it's the fact that your husband doesnt even know you well enough to assume AGES ago that you would be voting yes! That's crazy.. do you guys not speak to each other or something?

So, because HIS views on SSM is that is wrong, you should vote no? Wow, what a tool your husband is. He decided not to vote, so he his opinion really is null and void.

What religion would forbade someone from being on the electoral roll?

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 Uh excuse me? I don't think so. Unless it's some weird off shoot cult like religion.
Maybe the mormons or jw's?

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Does your husband think women shouldn’t have the vote? Are you just as disappointed in him for believing you don’t have the right to your own opinion as he is in you for having your own opinion?

My husband also voted No while I voted Yes. He was also a bit annoyed with me but my beliefs are that; my beliefs and I shouldn't have to change them to fit in with his beliefs. I would be more dissappointed that my husband did not respect and accept my choices as I do for him.

 I guess I see the ops' husband has believe she should be subservient to him, because a religious enough man to not vote, I would wonder
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 ugh let me write that again! I guess I see the op's husband as having beliefs that she should follow his lead(be subservient), even in voting, considering he is so religious that he chooses not to vote
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No love, he did the wrong thing, not you.

He is entitled to vote and voice his opinion just as you are. If he chose not to, then that's his issue.

What's disappointing is that he tried to take your voting rights away from you, in an attempt to force you to go against your beliefs to appease his religious views, which is extremely selfish, especially given he is meant to be your equal.

Stand your ground, my dear! You and your opinion matters.

I would tell your husband that you are disappointed that his intolerance extends to you as well.

I made the mistake of following my husbands lead in the SSM vote. He went no, and I wanted to please him. But it felt wrong in my heart and soul. Very wrong.
I'm bisexual myself (which I haven't discussed with my family or husband) and couldn't stand the thought of my first lady love being considered a second class citizen. She's still the most beautiful and kind woman I've ever met, even though we didn't end up together.
The guilt up until they announced that the yes side won, was crushing. It felt like when I was depressed. Like a heavy unshakable weight in the pit of my stomach, and mind. I couldn't sleep or eat properly, I was so stressed out.
You did the right thing by following your own heart. Why should you change to please him? Clearly he hasn't to change you (he knows how you feel and didn't once try to change his own mind). Guard your heart with the knowledge that because of people like you, my beautiful first same sex love, can now marry. That a woman who is truly good enough for her, can now put a ring on it. Picture a brown haired girl with big brown eyes and a smile that lights up her whole face and the room around her, happy and excited for her wedding. You, and people like you, did that. Thank you.

 *clearly he hasn't changed to PLEASE you... woopsy daisy
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 You are probably not alone. I honestly felt to vote no, just because there are technicalities I don't therotically agree with which are too strong in my mind,- personally I don't really care for marriage too, and it is probably because I'm not religious in that sense. But that said, when I got the envelope I was sure I'd write no, when I opened it , I just couldn't do it because I'm not against gay people and I felt that that is what my vote would mean. So ultimately I didn't. I don't feel guilt, I think for a few of us, for different reasons this was a whole new experience and you'd get people not able to or unsure to decide and act on what they felt was what they wanted.
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 I mean- ultimately I didn't vote
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He sounds like a fruitcake. I’d be disappointed married to someone like him to be honest.

Funny enough, my husband is actually a bit funny with gay guys, put it this way if his best friend came out as gay it woukd change their friendship and he would pull away. And if you even joke about two guys kissing or having sex he is repulsed.
HOWEVER he voted yes. Well actually I'm not on the Electrolux and I voted for him and sent it off... but he would have voted yes lol.... And he was rather pleased with the yes outcome. That we live in a country that lets people live their own lives (for the most part)
I must say it helped me in terms of I'd always disliked that part of him how he feels toward gay guys whilst respecting it's largely due to his upbringing and culture (he's from a different country that still has many issues)

I know it's tricky you don't want your husband to be upset, but he's being a bit overseaitive

He isn’t disappointed that you voted no, probably questioning why you voted that way when he has strong beliefs contrary to you. I would say he is confronted that you have a different belief system to him. They say that people’s values and beliefs are what bring us together. I think you should discuss it as a couple. He has no right to feel anything about your vote as it isn’t his, all he should do is try to understand and accept it.