Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Do you feel like you and your husband are just room mates? Separate lives? Passing ships? Completely disconnected? Is this a sign that it's over? The point of no return?

My husband and I lead very separate lives. He does his own thing and has own friends and the same for me. Our only conversations revolve around mundane things like it trash day or we need milk. Other than that he sits and watches the tv in the kids Netflix room and I watch TV/read in the family room. He doesn't say hi or bye or good morning or good nighr. Never gives me a kiss even a peck on the cheek. Whenever I hug him I can feel the tenseness in his muscles and he just kind of Pats my back. Doesn't give me a deep connection hug. I often go to bed thinking we are like room mates and I don't like it. I have cried to him saying I want to have date nights and do lovely things. He agreed and then after 4 weeks slipped into doing his own thing.... Again. This has been a repeated cycle. He makes the effort for a short period . I have made the effort many times. Now I give up. I feel completely disconnected to him. I am noticing other couples and other men... Is this a sign of divorce need

Report

Got an Answer?


Answers (8)

Tell him you'd like to go to marriage counselling together. If he refuses that says a lot.

To me that seems like it’s over but he’s just taking the easy way out by not discussing it. If i were you i would have called it quits already. Good luck

Would a divorce really be a bad thing though? Love if you aren’t happy then you aren’t happy, their is only so much you can try in a relationship. Can you see yourself happier in the long term getting a divorce?
My partner and I have seperate lives but we are best friends at the same time.
Have a big talk with him maybe bring up the topic whether he wants a divorce or not!

I just went through this after many years of putting myself last to everyone else but myself and my own happiness.
You need to do what's best for you. Selfish as it sounds and it will be hard at first. Be strong, put yourself first and charge on x

This is exactly my life, right down to a pat when i try to hug him
Its sad
I also dont know what to do
We dont have sex as im preg.. so thats no sex for 7 months

 Hugs to you babe 💕
helpful (0) 

This waa our relationship too although I now think of him as my best friend. The lack in communication and affection was going on for years. I ended up in an affair and went to counseling. I also discovered my husband was having affairs. I guess we are now in an open relationship but it doesn’t get discussed. I don’t recommend going down the path we choose. But we are both happy and parent really well together.

Sorry you’re going through it. It seems that his priorities don’t really include you. Was it always this way? Would he agree to see marriage counselling? Do you know his love language?