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Why do people hate school drop off and pick up?

Am I doing it wrong? I stay with my kid until the bell goes, walk to class with him and then go when I see he has settled on the mat. I don’t understand where the awkward part comes in.


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Answers (20)

I hate it. The car park is chaos. We have had a few near misses crossing the road. People are impatient and inconsiderate. Mothers are cliquey. And so many turn into high school girls as soon as they hit the gates. I get to school right as the classroom door opens, settle my youngest in her class then walk my eldest to his class. And arrive at pick up just as the bell goes to avoid having stand awkwardly by myself because the cliquey groups exclude me despite my efforts to be nice, friendly etc. That’s why.

 How do you know who the cliquey groups are? As in are they rude and obviously trying to leave you out? I’m a first time kindy mum and I’m gauging how schoolyard politics work and so far there’s a group of mums that I’m a bit sussed about.
helpful (0) 
 Cliquey groups are exclusive. Ignore the other mums even if they are trying to fit in. It’s like high school.
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 my kid catches the bus to and from school, or i drop him off on the days that i work. When i am at the school, i am happy to hang on my own, keep my head down, look at my phone and only speak if need be. I dont want to try and make friends with them, and when i go to the pc and meetings, i am there as a loner and listen and again only speak if need be. Otherwise 90% of the school year i dont have anything to do with anyone else, thank you, as i dont need to make any freinds or be a part of the school yard politics!!
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 If someone is obviously trying to exclude you they are not worth trying to befriend. Think of it as a plus! They're saving you time by advertising their bitchiness loud and clear.
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 OP of this comment...... I dont try any more. All I do is smile and say hi, but even some of those mothers chose to look the other way rather than say hello when we pass in the school yard.
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Because I drive there, have to find a parking space, get the kids out and to class rooms than get myself to work on time.
Waiting for the bell to go and walking to class with you child makes me assume you have plenty of time on your hands and to not rush i also assume you only have one to two kids and no job and maybe live close to the school.

 I agree that its the getting to work on time and back that I find stressful. Usually you need to say something to teacher -like your kid has dentist tomorrow or somthing - and people are having a long yack about the weather with the teacher even though they can see others need to talk :(
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 ^ yes I find this so annoying.
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I wouldn't mind it if a didn't have my 1yr old with me that is tired and cranky and wanting a nap at 9am because she's up at 5 every morning

I liked school drop off and pick up when my kids were younger because sometimes it was the only time I would get out of the house and speak to actual adults. There were times when it was awkward, when you are waiting for class to finish and if I didn't know anyone i would feel a bit awkward. The parking was a pain as well. I used to get there early so i would get a park. I like meeting the teachers and having a chat and getting the kids settled in and seeing their work and their desk.

I walked my son in for the first two weeks of kindergarten. After that, I just started dropping him off at the gate. He is very independent and didn’t really care if I walked him in or not. As soon as he put his bag down he’d take off to go play with his friends. Now I only walk him in if I need to stop by the office or bring in new insulin/needles for him. He is in year 3.

I hate school drop off and pick up every day, I dread it! My kid is in prep and I have severe social anxiety so I can’t do any meet ups / chats ect. The school he goes to says the kids can go in class at 8:45 then parents are all in the classroom with kids till 9am then they all leave. I think hays s great concept to get the child settled to a new environment but pure hell if you never socialise 😢😪 I arrive at exactly 9am now and he’s settled and happy with a very quick goodbye luckily!!

 Could you try just hanging around even 5 mins before? Build yourself up to be ok around people? Im a prep mum and probably one of those who overstay because I talk too much 🙈 I would be the first to talk to anyone and suggest a coffee x
helpful (1) 
 As a teacher that sounds like my worst nightmare hahah parents and little siblings in the class till 9am eeek. I just bring my kiddies in at 8:40 from day 1 and the children are fine. No wonder everyone is getting social anxiety haha we keep letting the mums hang around longer than they need to be because we THINK the kids NEED it lol
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There's nothing wrong that. You do what feels right to you and your son. It's great to see parents so involved ❤️

I hate school pick up. Long queue of cars around the school perimeter. Parents parked their cars in the kiss & go lane which only allowed 2 mins max. causing Long queue. No nearby carpark to park to walk to school. Why do parents have to get out of the car to open the door for their children,took the bags from home & placed them in rear bonnet, chit chat with other parents before getting back into the car and drive away from the kiss & go lane? That’s not love. That’s just spoiling the kids

 have seen it all and it's worse especially in the eastern suburbs of reality i should be asking my neighbour her opinion of this.i feel for those of you whose kids are not within a walk or bus distance of home to go to school.
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My daughter's old school had the worst parking and it was on a really steep hill - so I was always running up the hill to get there on time as my work finished just before afternoon pick up.
If I'm not working, I otherwise don't have an issue - but on a busy day it can be stressful, particularly if your child won't settle easily.

 I am actually on an old scholars commitee myself but have often seen in the past whenever going past kings baptist grammar school on my way to golden grove village catching the 545x in my younger days or when not driving up that way how much chaos takes place in the car parks(i am from adelaide).it's a joke waiting to doesn't help these days in the 22 years since I left there almost every second car there is a SUV or people mover of some kind(I would expect that at a fancy college in the eastern suburbs not something in the north eastern area of different status).just am thankful i didn't have a license during the remains of my high school years in the trusted me enough to use the bus system till graduating in late 1996.
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my moms been there before we kids were old enough to use the bus/train system to school on our was awful.if it was not bad enough showing up in a Mercedes which is a big no no if you have one kid in public schooling and one in a fancy pants private fact as early as yr 5 for me and yr 9 for my brother(1988) we wanted to use the public transport system for school but were not allowed to till I brought it up towards the end of my year 6 and his year 10(1989)with our parents.I regard it in terms of waiting games more unreliable than Serco when they existed running the transport service in Adelaide and what we have today with Uber,sometimes they never show or if they do they are really behind schedule.

I hate it, and you must to or else you wouldn't be on here asking this question if you didn't

My kid in kindy either catches the bus or i drop him at the front of the school at the gate. Only the first day or so, i took him to the classroom. I personally think in NSW the kids are generally older and therefore more mature and can handle the drop off and walk in on their own. Personally i think if a kid needs his mum to watch him get settled in the class room, id be asking if maybe your kid was better off at home and waiting another year before starting school.

 So kids in other states are immature compared to NSW kids?? Do you have facts to back that up? Weirdest comment ever!
helpful (1) 
 What? Just what? I’ve taught in 4 states and kids in nsw are no different. That is the weirdest comment ever. You don’t live in a state and become more mature 😂 it depends entirely on the child. I’ve had kindy kids walk in like they were meant to be there and year 3’s anxious and worried and wanting Mum. It’s nice to have parents popping in and helping or showing an interest in their children’s work.
helpful (3) 
 I’m sorry, what? All kids are different. Some more independent and confident than others. This doesn’t mean they aren’t ready for school. You will find that most kids who need their parent(s) to help settle them into their class cope just fine once they are gone. And as they get older, the need for help from parents to settle diminishes.
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 In WA kids start at 4.
I'm in tweed my child will turn 6 , 2 weeks after school starts

I think that's why she's referring to

There is a HUGE difference between a 4yo and 6 yo

helpful (8) 
 To the responder in WA - they start the YEAR they turn 4. My son, being born in late may, was only 3.5 when he started. My daughter, born beginning of July, was 4.5 when she started - she was home a ehole extra year than my son.
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 Yes my child in WA was 3 for a good four months when she first started kindy. You can tell tell the difference between her maturity and level compared to the older kids in her class.
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 Kindy in New is big school. U have to enroll by 6 yrs
I think kindi in other states is pre school here.

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 Yes i am talking about the different ages the kids start schools across different states. Yes every kid is different, but look at the stats between countries such as norway/finland compared to Aust or USA, in Norway/Finland where kids start later and how on a whole level they are better off! There will always be exceptions to the rule, but in general kids who start later are more independent and are better off. Do you want your child to thrive or just survive! Kids who are not emotionally not ready for school are not going to thrive and are better off waiting another year, i would think that the kids that i see in my classroom that are constantly crying and needing their parents to cuddle them right up to the bell and continue that way after they have gone are really only just suriving. They would have been better off with another year off...but hey thats my 2 cents as an educator between a few states!
helpful (4) 
 Well, as an educator from across different states, you would know that in some states (example, WA) you cannot just defer a year if you think they aren’t ready or their birthday is close to the cut off. Kindergarten is not compulsory, but pre primary is. So if your child is 4 turning 5 they have to be enrolled, ready or not. Doesn’t matter if you want your kid to thrive or just survive as you say, they have to go.
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 Really is that the case in WA? My child is in kindy and year 2 but I thought you can hold your kid back if you insist...
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 Maybe in exceptional circumstances. You’re insistence wouldn’t be a good enough reason. My son is in year 2. He has ASD. at the end of last year, I had a meeting with his teacher and she said he is now at pre primary level, so a year behind his year.. I asked if it means he could be held back and she said absolutely not. They don’t do that any more.
helpful (1) 
 Weird it just be school by school, because I hear talk of it a few times. I also find teachers aren't as on top of things as we'd hope so if double check this
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 As an educator you should be differentiating - eg treating the kids appropriately for their maturity level. Teach to suit the class. Thats the modern way so its less about kids struggling. Countries like finland they nearly all go to childcare but funny how educators never mention that part.
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