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Affairs

Have you had an affair? i always wandered how people get into them. But having recently started one, I totally get it. I am completely and utterly addicted.

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Answers (8)

I’ve been the other woman. I can tell you, even though I was like you addicted, if I could go back in time I wouldn’t do it. I didn’t think about his family, just myself. Call it off now before you regret it. The repercussions are not worth it.

 Only not worth it if you get found out

helpful (3) 
 You’re get found out sooner or later
helpful (5) 
 No you won't.. not necessarily. I had an affair for 10 years, just broke it off because he moved overseas for work.
helpful (2) 
 ^ in most cases you will sooner or later. But for all you know either one or both partners knew but chose to turn a blind eye
helpful (3) 
 Haha sorry but that's simply not true I would say certainly from my experience with fifo waaaay more affairs go unknown
helpful (1) 
 ^ well, that’s your experience. Mine suggests otherwise.
helpful (1) 
 Only suggest other wise cos you found out about them 😂😂😂 how would you know how many are had that aren't found out 😂
helpful (2) 
 And out of those, how many do you think are found out but are allowed to get away with it (an I know but you don’t know that I know kinda thing). And also consider how common divorce is, and what is the number one cause of divorce? Common sense tells me most people get caught sooner or later. Maybe not with every single person they have slept with, but someone who has cheated once like likely will gain thus increasing the risk of getting busted. It’s hard to keep up a lie. Especially over a long period of time
helpful (1) 
 I think you are chatting with our resident troll. I worked fifo for years hardly anyone had affairs. What I did see was lots of desperate women trying to sleep with men who were on good money. The married men stayed away, some single men slept with them but not many. You needed a bath in Dettol after sex with one of those women. The men called them disposable fu**s.
helpful (3) 
 I worked fifo for a few years. There were a couple of men having "affairs" while away. They liked having friends with benefits and didn't want the woman being part of their real life at home, it was easier saying they were married so when home they didn't have to deal with her and could be single. I don't blame them, the women who like sleeping with married men are pretty much scraping the bottom of the barrel.
helpful (5) 
 Interesting. I just came back to review my post. It turned into a full blown affair thankfully I never got caught.
helpful (0) 
 Good on you coming back to skite how “lucky” you were. You actually make me sick coming back to brag.
helpful (2) 

Without giving too much information that may give me away if my husband or friends read this, I found myself in the wrong place at the right time.

I had had a baby about 11 months before I met him and wasnt feeling overly great about myself at the time. He showered me with attention that I didnt feel I was getting at home and it felt great to be looked at as more than a mother.

Flirting lead to a few drinks, which lead to a really hot and passionate kiss, which lead to an even steamier love making session, which lead to an extended affair.

Hes a really good friend now and we still see each other and sleep together quite often. Our relationship is purely sexual with no expectations from either of us.

 Thanks for your response. This sounds very similar to what I'm getting into. We haven't done anything physical yet. I'm kinda worried about it turning into an affair. But in the meantime I feel like it's just a really intimate friendship.
helpful (0) 

As the wife of a husband who had and still carries on seeing the other woman... it sucks.

You feel worthless, angry, sad and disrespected! He betrayed me and his kids. I don’t know why he did this? The reasons he gave will make your brain melt... I did not keep the house clean (lies) I watched to much tv ( something we used to do together) kids ignore him ( well you do the same)

OP please don’t take it further. Talk to your partner and if you are not happy leave! Don’t make him feel like me...

 It's disgusting that he is blaming you and the kids - clearly he's grasping at straws trying to justify his behaviour. I had an ex did that ("She's closer to my age" -she was two years older than me- "she shares my interest in hiking"- that I was doing before him and at a more challenging level, etc.) At the end of the day, he was looking for reasons to indulge himself in having an affair. It was about his ego and nothing else. You deserve better treatment.
helpful (4) 
 Why are you still with him?
helpful (2) 
 ^this! Why don't you leave??
helpful (0) 
 Because I don’t have the means to!!! Everybody thinks is so easy it is bloody not! I can’t receive CL until I move out, can’t move out until I receive CL to proof my income... so hello rock and hard place...
helpful (1) 
 I think you can explain your situation to Centrelink and they will start paying you while you still love there. Something worth looking into perhaps? You are worth more and deserve more than that x
helpful (1) 

I am the other woman in an affair that commenced at work 20 years ago. It's purely sexual and we don't have any kind of other contact.

He meets my physical needs and leaves me to get on with life. I don't want a partner because I'm yet to meet a man that doesn't cheat.

 Oh the irony in this comment ^^^
helpful (7) 
 I thought the same. The hyprocacy!
helpful (3) 

I had an online affair.
We chatted completely innapropriatly and did a few sex cams lol. I never showed my face.

This all started about 2 months after my now husband- then boyfriend cheated on me OS we were in a bad place and I couldn't leave him but was so mad and immature.
I broke up with him on New Year's Eve when I was super drunk only I barely remeber the night or what I said and he wouldn't talk to me or about what was said. I still don't know if I confessed I feel like I did.
4 days later he came back said he found cheap flights for a holiday and we left a few days later.
That holiday was the re start of us.
I fell pregnant on the pill 2/3 months later.
Everything happens for a reason to this day I don't know why I didn't leave him I never thought I'd stay through cheating,
But our kids needed to be so I guess that why

I do regret it but it is what it is I can't change it.

 It’s not an affair if you break up or take a break
helpful (0) 
 We weren't broken up or on a break
helpful (0) 
 I don't really see phone sex as cheating. Not much difference between that and watching porn.
helpful (2) 
 ^ there’s a big difference. With porn your a spectator. Phone sex, sexting or whatever you’re a participant.
helpful (8) 
 If phone sex is not cheating in your books would you be okay with your partner being in contact with, having everyone day chit chat and phone sex/ting
helpful (0) 

Just be careful, a friend had an affair and got caught. Her husband threw her out, she lost her beautiful house, car everything. She sees her kids for a few hours one night a week and every second weekend and has to work and pay child support even though she can barely afford to feed herself, while her ex does very well. Karma is a bitch.

 Exactly this. How is that worth it
helpful (0) 

How did you start Op? Can you tell if people are having an affair at work?

 He is a friend. It started with inappropriate messages. It's just msging and phone sex atm. I'm just worried that I'm so addicted it's going to turn physical.
Nope, I can't tell when people are having affairs at work.

helpful (0) 
 It sounds like an emotional affair, which with turn sexual & the allure/ addiction will be strong (cause it's all good & fun, no real life or responsibilities). Then you need to deal with the fallout, crushed hearts, unbelievable betrayal & the depths of despair.
helpful (5)