Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Ex's parent passing away

It's a complicated history. I'm not sure if they would react badly or appreciate a simple message saying sorry for your loss. We haven't been in contact for a long time. I don't know what to do.


Got an Answer?

Answers (11)

If it ended badly I wouldn't because it could open up a can of worms

It depends on the situation and the ex. If my ex sent me a message after my parent passed away I would be appreciative, even though we are not on the best of terms and he was an asshole to me, I know it would have come from a place of kindness and compassion. Just as if it was his parent I would send him condolences. If it is that bad, it may just put salt on the wound though and make grieving harder for your ex. Just do what you think is right for the situation and keep his feelings in mind when doing it.

If you haven't messaged congratulations on having a baby or getting married then don't message now.

Not if you are no longer in contact, especially if you and his parent didn't really get along he may remember that and think your message is an insult. If you are ever talking again then say something.

Mind your own business

 You're responses are boring- needs more glitter & unicorns
helpful (0) 

If my ex’s parents passed away I would send a 1kg glitter bomb

I was in this position 2 months ago. My ex lost his sister, very tragically. He and I were together 11 years ago. Ended on good terms. I ummed and ahhhed and decided to msg him via Facebook. He was very appreciative.

 How very sad. I think different situation, though because it seems like your situation with your ex was amicable.
helpful (1) 

Not your family anymore! My brother’s ex wife who cheated on him turned up at my grandmothers funeral over Christmas because she loved my grandmother... but the general feeling throughout our family was it wasn’t her place... she decided to leave the family and you give up that right to the funeral when you are no longer apart of their lives especially if you haven’t had contact

 Maybe she still had contact with the grandma.
helpful (0) 

I think a simple message would be appropriate. Especially if you were on good terms with the ex’s parent. I’m assuming you had kids with the ex. If so, then send the message on their behalf.