Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

If your husband has a secret Instagram account would you think they are hiding something

If your husband has an Instagram page that they keep secret to the point they block you from it because you put through a follow request do you think you have a right to be concerned that they are doing something wrong.
And then when you ask them about why they block you they accuse you of being controlling And tell you to fuck off


Got an Answer?

Answers (21)

I’d do a fake profile then follow him;)

 Yeah but leave it a while. It will be too suspicious if you add straight away lol
helpful (7) 
 Show passion or be verbally abusive? Fine line there
helpful (0) 

Just hack his phone like a normal person.

 I have no idea how to do that lol
helpful (0) 
 Teach us!! 😢
helpful (4) 
 There must be more to this story. Are you controlling? I had friends wife make him delete every single female from his account and have access to all his passwords, after that I’m a little more cautious to take the husbands side like a grain of salt. That said, your relationship is still screwed if this is the dialogue you guys are having anyway.
helpful (0) 
 I can't even hack my kids phones. They have face recognition and fingerprint to get in! Stupid phones making stalking hard lol
helpful (0) 
 Can you use facial recognition on someone who is sleeping
helpful (0) 

If my husband ever told me to f**k off I'd be rethinking my relationship. Even without the other suss stuff.

 Right !
helpful (0) 
 You’ve never sworn at him precious?
helpful (1) 
 Nope. I don't generally swear. Hubby does occasionally (usually at the PlayStation haha) but never at people (as in he may swear in a conversation, but not as an insult to someones face, if that makes sense). Is it so shocking that there are people out there that don't swear at each other?
helpful (3) 
 Here here! My husband and I have NEVER sworn at each other. What a lack of respect to tell you partner to F*** OFF. No matter how angry I am I would never use such derogatory language to the man I love, just like he wouldn't use to me.
helpful (4) 
 Ok miss perfects. Another person here. We say it in jest. Like call each other di*****d & then laugh we do something silly. Does that meet your high standards? Or do we have a bad relationship in your eyes??
helpful (1) 
 I regularly tell mine to f**k off, get fu***d, go f**k himself etc. He'd rather I'm showing passion because i love and care instead of walking around like a dead boring mamby pamby sooky woman.
helpful (0) 
 It’s really sad that you think you have to show passion by swearing. I think it just sounds bogan. People only use swear words when they don’t know how to communicate. My husband and I may argue but we never swear at each other. Grab a dictionary and learn some words you feral.
helpful (2) 

Yes, I would be concerned. Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. But what I would do now is just act as if you don't care (even though you do - I would), leave him to it and see what happens. The more you keep trying to get him to come clean or be honest or, in his eyes, "pry" the more he is going to gaslight and make it look like you are the controlling distrustful one.
I would just back off and focus on your own life and perhaps try to find some other way of seeing what is going on with all of this without engaging him. I realise all I have suggested is easier said than done.
How did you come to find the page? Since it is early days, try to keep a level head and approach it another way rather than directly confronting him. If he is hiding something then he is not going to give you any honest answer and will abuse you in the process.
But to answer your question, I think it is natural to feel someone is hiding something but it may not be what you think. His reaction, though, is sending red flags.

 I found the page because I started an insta account and he came up as a suggested person from my contacts. So I sent a follow request that he declined. So I resent it not knowing that he declined it being new to insta. Then his account disappeared but a mutual friend said he came up as a suggestion after it dissapeard from mine. So I asked him why he deleted me. And he said because it was his and he didn’t want me on it and I didn’t take the hint when he said no to my follow
helpful (4) 
 What reason does a husband have to hide social media accounts from his wife? It's suspicious! If you're not doing anything wrong then why hide anything? I'd be suspicious
helpful (8) 

My husband got Tumblr and Pinterest and didn't tell me. It started to follow his interests and Then progressed to looking at 'surf girls, booty, And so on. He doesn't know I know but I've spied a couple time and that's the most of what he's doing he's not msging anyone or anything like that. I don't worry Any more but will periodically check. Not because I'm psycho but because of his past he had a porn addiction and cheated on me over the internet. Therefore lost his right to privacy if he wants me to stay. As the expert lol I would suggest say nothing but if u get the opportunity look at Insta on his phone and see what his searches are and if he's msging random and just make sure he's not doing anything dodgy. But don't talk to him about it it's easy to lie and blame u

 That's how it starts.
Your husband is a PERV.
See something, say something!

helpful (4) 

Make a fake insta with a hot model as your pix snd follow him

Absolutely you should be concerned ! That’s a worry. You need to get into it

How about look at if from a different perspective unless he has given you reason not to trust him in the past.
He may have a second account simply for snooping on all those x-rated pix...big booty, big boob pages and wanted to keep it separate from his everyday family/friends account.
I have a second account no one knows about, usually it’s to look up exes lol just for curiosity or stalk someone I hated in highschool. Could be as innocent as that?
If he was hiding something surely he would be smart enough to use a different email account and name?
Anything is possible these days, good luck

 I would have no problem if it was a second account. And also if it was a second account that he said he had to do that.
But why the need to lie. Just say that’s what it’s for and I would have let it go.

helpful (3) 
 It’s the only account. He doesn’t have one he shares with the faimily and friends
helpful (0) 
 Ok I misunderstood and thought he had a secret 2nd account.
True I don’t understand the lying part. But I mean how comfortable is he going to be telling you he signed up to “get off” on other peoples pix if this is infact his reason? You don’t really need an insta account to cheat they’re are other chatting apps for that business and don’t show up on your phone bill.
What’s the communication been like between you since?
I have a few guy mates and the way they hover around each other watching some hoe twerk on insta is amusing. I don’t know just giving you a different pov.

helpful (1) 
 We have always had very open communication about all things including sex/porn hey look st that hot chick over there type stuff. This is why I am having so much trouble understanding the need for secrecy in the first instance then the blatant disregard for my feelings when I stated his actions hurt me because I didn’t understand. To the point he said f**k off you are never getting on there
helpful (0) 
 That’s not nice and quite hurtful. Just go about usual business. Maybe in a few days/week you can have a calm discussion.
Perhaps ask him if the roles were reversed how he would react/feel.
If you struggle to communicate with him face to face maybe a text or email?
Explain that when he pulls stunts like that his planting seeds of doubt in your head which shouldn’t be present in a trusting marriage. How is he now, mood etc since his tantrum?

helpful (0) 
 He has been acting as though nothing happened since then.
helpful (0) 
 Typical male 🤦🏻‍♀️ Well now that he knows his on your radar hopefully that’s enough deterrence for him not to “stuff up” if that was his agenda
helpful (2) 

I dont think its healthy to have a relationship with secrets and lies. Either you are both honest and yes that means accepting he may not aantyou on hia page but you putting the law down u cheat im gone and ill take hald of everything or u accept he will cheat. The are there