Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Can you get the spark back when you have given up and you have heard the same story 100 times

My hubby and I have been together for 12 years we have a 5 and 3 yo girls..when I had my last daughter I spiraled into deep pnd and almost killed myself and ended up being hospitalised for a short period..my hubby blamed gabby for how I felt and did not bond with her for a long while..he also promised the psychiatrist that he would support me no matter what and get me whatever support I felt I needed which I said was getting an extra hand..but he found it too hard to ask for help and quickly changed his mind
I received help and starting feeling like me again realising I was a lot stronger than I gave myself credit for..he stayed in rescue mode..while being there physically he was not at all emotionally..in fact we spent most nights on our phone eating dinner in front of the tv
I started work and became good friends with one of the guys I work with..and we ended up having an emotional affair (which my hubby knows about)
He says now that I have checked out that he wants to change

Report

Got an Answer?


Answers (4)

Do you want to make it work?

 No
helpful (0) 
 Well there is you're answer
helpful (0) 

He has forgiven you for having an affair of course he is not going to feel the same. But he obviously loves you very much. I would do everything possible to make it up to him. I’m sure your already aware but just be careful as you are now vulnerable to another emotional affair which could lead to a full blown one next time.

More info
But I have heard it so many times and have lost that emotionally connection to me
I feel and have felt that I have stayed for so long just for the kids
I love him..he is a good dad..but there is nothing else

 This happens to many ppl. But it takes a lot of work from BOTH parties to make it work
helpful (0) 

Read
5 love languages
Look on The Gottman institute website for some help and I would read their new book 8 dates