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Step daughter period trouble continued.

Sorry to start another question. I can't reply or write on the other question 🙄. I spoke to my sd about it again tonight as she was upset and venting last night about it. She is upset because she feels her mum is more concerned about what others might think than how she is in pain and it's so inconvenient to deal with such horrible heavy periods every month. I told her I will take her to a gynaecologist and go over her options. She can talk it over with her mum and find a solution they agree on. I said if your mum won't help you I will take you for the follow up appointment so she won't have to deal with this every month. I know I over stepped but she really is suffering. Hopefully a gynaecologist will have more solutions. Thanks for all the replies.


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Answers (11)

Looks like she can decide for herself after all which is great, it's at the Drs descretion I found this on an australian law site-

There is no set age from which you can consent to medical treatment. You are able to consent to medical treatment, without your parents’ or guardian’s consent if your doctor decides you are capable of understanding the nature and risks of the treatment, including any alternative treatments and the consequences of not receiving medical treatment. To decide this, a doctor may consider:
o your age, attitude and maturity;
o your level of intelligence and education;
o your independence (whether you live at home with a parent or carer, or support yourself);
o how serious the treatment is;
o whether you understand the treatment and risks (for example, side effects and complications); and
o your ability to appreciate the wider consequences of the treatment (for example, effects on your family and any long-term emotional impact).

Generally, doctors will consider that if you are:
o aged between 16 and 18, you are most likely able to consent;
o aged between 14 and 16, you are reasonably likely to be able to consent; or
o under the age of 14, you may not have the capacity to consent, except for treatment that does not carry significant risk.

I have Endometriosis and Polycystic ovaries. I suffered immense pain and heavy 12 day periods from age 13 to 26 when I was finally diagnosed. Although my mum was supportive/sympathetic, she didnt understand the pain because she never had a cramp in her life. Sometimes I couldnt even stand up and I would lay on the floor crying and hoping panadol would kick in (soooo not strong enough for that pain) My issues are the same as all the women on my dads side. My point is, for 13 years I was led to believe that my periods and pain were normal and that I was overreacting. There are so many steps to take to confirm a proper diagnosis, I regret not being able to properly investigate sooner.

You are a fantastic step mum. I would do anything to help my Step Children, because they are a part of the man i love dearly! I love this about you.

 I agree!
helpful (0) 

Honestly there are herbs which can help. A quick google will show you thousands of studies and people sharing their journey coming off the pill.

It could be worth an investigation as sometimes suggesting the pill is just a bandaid.
I speak from experience. I’d lose a week of school every single cycle. I’d often vomit. It was awful. Seeing a naturopath when I was 16 saved me.

 Honestly there are just as many people for whom herbs do nothing. If they do thats great, but please dont make anyone feel bad about taking the pill if thats what works. I also speak from experience
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I think you are definitely coming from a good place and have your step-daughter's best interest at heart. The fact your step-daughter can talk to you about issues like this shows you have a good relationship.
Is there a court order or agreement in place between your partner and his ex about who makes medical decisions for their child? If there is nothing stopping him from taking his daughter to a doctor I don't see why you couldn't both go with his daughter or why you couldn't take her with his permission particularly if she would feel more comfortable with a female there rather than her dad. You don't have to consent to any procedures but it would be good to find out if there are other options that are less invasive or with less side-effects than the one that has been suggested. At 14, a doctor should be able to assess if your step-daughter is able to give informed consent or not and treat her appropriately.

Put a hot water bottle on her abdomen for the moment will ease the pain.

 Hot baths help too.
helpful (0) 
 Careful with the hot baths though - they encourage bleeding and you can faint like I did!
helpful (0) 
 Yeah, like they havent thought of that. FFS, whats she supposed to do the rest of the time. You clearly have NO IDEA the severity some peoples periods are like. Mine made me throw up til I went on the pill. The doctor has checked her out and suggested treatment so clearly its more than a hot water bottle can help with.
helpful (0) 

I am kinda wondering if you are trolling. What kind of step mum goes over the mother’s head when it involves a 14 year old.
Good luck with your future relationship with her mother, you will need all the luck you can get after this

 One who cares about her stepdaughter. Shes a great stepmum.
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What she "feels" could be faaar from the truth. Has the mother said words to that extent? Is the mother a bad parent or one that is well researched and not jumping the gun until she has other issues sorted. Your stepdaughter is not dying ok, so figure out the truth before committing to interfering

 Seriously? She has seen a doctor for this issue and the doctor believed her so who the hell are you to make nasty accusations? People can have depression or even commit suicide from not having their real medical issues attended to. How dare you make those shes not dying comments. You know nothing. YOU butt out.
helpful (0) 

I agree your hearts in the right place.. but it’s a tough road to travel if you are going behind the mums back.. is there any way you can contact the mum and voice your concerns - even if you have to exaggerate the truth
”I’ve seen her doubled over in excruciating pain, it kills me to see her this way.. I’d love to get her some help and I know doctors have suggested other options other than pain killers each month”
Maybe something so that the mother knows ur there for her daughters best interests and not to intervene or interfere with her decision.

Google "happy hormones" it's a natural product, could help..