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Unsociable Husband

Answered 10 months ago

Anyone else have an unsociable husband?
Unless it's his family, close work colleagues or HIS couple of friends he won't socialise at all. I suggested we invite some people over (my sister and BIL, his mate and his wife, and a couple from my work) for a BBQ / drinks for new years. Shot down instantly. He won't even entertain the idea of going out for dinner or whatever with my best friend and her husband (who he's only met twice in the last 6 years...) It's really frustrating! For once I'd like to spend some time with other people/couples. He's so stuck in his ways that it's never going to happen. Looks like it'll be another lonely new years eve at home..... Unless one you wise ladies can give me some suggestions??


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ANSWER
10 months ago
He’s selfish
My MIL is going out and not missing out on life

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10 months ago
He might have depression

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10 months ago
I have same issue. Did nothing New Year. Also recently went out with an old contact for coffee and he said I don't see the value in that. Well, so what not his friend. He has no friends. He did go to work do. I make some social myself, through some kid activiites I do and now baby a toddler, I might go out at night sometimes!

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10 months ago
It's so hard. I used to be super sociable. I don't know what's happened to me but I feel a little bit similar in terms of not seeing the value in it. I guess there are times I've just found myself in a daze in a social situation, not really focused and quietly pondering the monotony and repetitiveness of social interactions and really just started feeling drained, like it's a pointless waste of time, same same if that makes sense. I'm not sure why I've changed but yeah it's hard.

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10 months ago
My husband is exactly the same although he doesn’t even want to see his friends either. He is honest and says he does not feel comfortable and as he gets older it is getting worse. He never stops me going out and I have lots of friends but I would like to do things with other couples and we have had arguments about it. I have tried going to the couple things alone but it is uncomfortable and I spend a lot of time wishing he was there. The funny thing is we go out together regularly and have a great time so it is not the actual going out that is the problem. I feel sad that we will never go to a party or a group event or even a dinner with another couple again.

ANSWER
10 months ago
My husband has no friends and only socialises with family or with work, reluctantly and rarely. The funny thing is, people like to talk to him, he just finds it exhausting. I miss out sometimes, sometimes he has to suck it up (I usually pick the less stressful things for him and give loads of notice) and sometimes I go by myself. We are just different so we each compromise sometimes. Maybe you can plan for this year to do similar? Enjoy some drinks and snacks at home with hubby and a movie tonight, but tell him there are a couple of things you’d like to go to together this year? Just an idea, good luck.

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10 months ago
My sympathies. My husband is the same.

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10 months ago
My hubby is always busy as we farm and also works but yes he likes to stay home too. But he does go out and enjoys himself with others. So I’d suggest inviting some friends around yes his and also yours and just make a slow start to being social and he might just enjoy it ??!!

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10 months ago
I guess the tricky part knowing your husband doesn't like to socialise is to approach the top when the pressure isn't there. For example new year's I'd so close, of you asked him a few months, without the occasion about your desire to socialise with other couples do you think he'd react still? Its funny but reading,I see my husband is similar but I am quite impulsiive. In my case, my hubby has lots on his plate which is always pressing and he wants these focused on rather than other non priorities... Which in his case is warranted but I wish he'd be more open too

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10 months ago
I probably wouldn’t ask him if you can invite x x x over, I’d just say ‘I’ve invited blah blah over for a bbq’ see how he reacts. If he’s not keen, he can make himself scarce. Why does it always come down to what he wants? Do what you want for a change and see how it goes. What you’re asking or suggesting is not unreasonable therefore just do it. My two cents worth

ANSWER
10 months ago
Invite whoever you like over, tell him he's not invited 🤔

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10 months ago
I second this. Or alternatively, have you tried going out without him? 🤔

Seriously, just because he wants to be a home body, doesn't mean you have to be chained to his side.