Do you trust him, like really trust him? I found this was a mental block with a past partner. Never fully trusted him as there was an ex hanging around & he loved the attention she gave. I could never be fully open with him on that level. Tried & tried but the door was never fully open from my end. Next one not a problem.

I find oral to work

My main tip is for you both to stop worrying about it, seriously. I take awhile too but its about experimenting. Try to experiment on yourself, use toys and different techniques. Stop focusing on it and try to enjoy the moment.

There are some good books on techniques for sexually pleasuring each other. They are available from sex shops and also from Lovehoney, an online store that delivers from a Brisbane warehouse. They also have local phone numbers you can call.
Sometimes it comes down to the actual technique of massaging clitoris, or using a suitable lubricant.

Even if you are naturally well moisturised, a good lubricant makes it better. I use one called Astroglide, and have found it to be the very best for me. And much better than any others. Originally I had to go to a sex shop to get it, but lately it has appeared in both Coles and Woolworths. Failing that you can order it on line from Chemist Warehouse. It is very reasonably priced.

For me it was difficult when I was younger I don't really know why. Alot of it had to do with my feelings about the person I was with. I had to feel completely safe and relaxed - sounds like a given but I think with some of my partners I was worried about judgment, how i looked, what my reactions should be, what I should be doing and what they were going to say after, if they really loved me. 85% of the time they didn't. You really need to get out of your head and to feel completely loved for who you are - that's what worked for me. Now I can internal orgasm always. Good luck.

Always play with your clit while he is fking you

Have you experimented with sex toys? Don't just try one and then give up, there are approximately one million different vibrator brands and they give different sensations. Personally my vibrator (Lelo "Smart Wand") and playing with my nipples is almost guaranteed to get me off, going solo if my husband is away and I'm in the mood I can orgasm in under 2 mins because it feels so good.

Anyway! Try different toys, whether an external one (many women can't orgasm without clitoral stimulation, it's been studied!) or an internal one. Tell your partner what's working for you ("can you be a little rough with my nipples" or "move a little to the right" or "hold me down like you don't care and are being selfish").

Maybe you could tell us what kind of stuff you've tried which hasn't worked, or what's worked with previous partners? It's possibly it's a physiological/body issue (insensitive erogenous zones?), it could be in your head (do you feel guilty about finding pleasure in sex, do you actively participate or is sex just something that men do to women, do you feel pressured to orgasm even your own pressure)?

Try different techniques