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Christmas lunch in a putrid house

Answered 2 years ago

My BIL and his partner, plus their two children live in absolute filth and want to host Christmas at their house - that would mean sleeping over Christmas eve and staying until boxing day, when we visit, my kids and I can't even stay more than a couple of hours because it's so disgustingly dirty and the smell is horrendous, the time we do spend we stay mostly in the backyard which is full of cigarette butts, knee high weeds and rubbish.
I do love them all as people but the truth is I would not touch any food made in their kitchen for anything, I'm not a snob and I'm not exagerrating it's truly so bad.
My husband said yes to them and so I tried to convince every one kindly to just come to ours instead, this backfired and Bils partner was furious, she thinks I want to "hog" hosting Christmas so I gave in because I didn't want to hurt her feelings with the real reason.
How do I get out of this mess now? My skin is already crawling and my kids don't want to go.


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ANSWER
2 years ago
Maybe they’ll clean up because it’s an event they’re hosting? You can only hope! Do you have to stay with them? Tell them you don’t want to crowd them especially when they’ll have the stress of organising Chrissy, so you’ll stay in other accomodation. I second previous posters idea of bringing food in sealed containers!

ANSWER
2 years ago
Well you go and help cleanup ready for Christmas. Maybe bring a dish or two you cooked.

Replies

REPLY
2 years ago
Umm no, I work 50 hours a week I'm not spending the short time I get off cleaning some other adults filth.

REPLY
2 years ago
Then stop being gutless and say you're not going because the house is gross.
If you don't want to hear suggestions from other people, don't ask

REPLY
2 years ago
^ exactly this!!

REPLY
2 years ago
Helping her clean up and prepare won’t take anywhere near the same amount of time as hosting it yourself. Stop beia crybaby and do something to help the situation instead of just complaining about it.

ANSWER
2 years ago
How far away do they live? Is it possible to come home or stay elsewhere rather than having to sleep at their house?

ANSWER
2 years ago
Tell your husband he can go, and you and the kids do something else. If you’re asked the question, just tell the truth. If the house is that bad maybe someone needs to give them a reality check.

And honestly , hosting Xmas is hard work, who wants to ‘hog’ it ?

Replies

REPLY
2 years ago
I agree. Expect to be cut off from them when you tell them the truth, but that's probably not a bad thing at this point.

ANSWER
2 years ago
How can they afford to host Xmas party

ANSWER
2 years ago
Why is the house filthy ?
Call CPS

ANSWER
2 years ago
Book separate accommodation

ANSWER
2 years ago
Since it’s your husband’s brother - don’t try to problem solve for him. Ask your husband to gently let his brother know that his family has concerns about the cleanliness of their home. His brother and partner will likely be upset but they’ll get over it. Unfortunately they won’t improve their cleanliness - but they’ll know that your family has different standards of cleanliness.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Bring some food in sealed containers. Have lots of longlife snacks and things in the car. Bring everyone's drink bottle to save on using their glasses. Bring lots of hand sanitiser and wet wipes. Bring antibacterial stuff to spray on the toilet before you and the kids use it. Bring your own towels and sheets / sleeping bags. Make sure you have shower thongs for you and the kids - they are not to shower barefoot or walk around without shoes on. Better yet, take the kids to a beach or chlorinated pool a couple of times!
Have back up accomodation - at least a tent in the boot!
And then, I'd let it be an absolutely disgusting experience for everyone - maybe if it is really revolting your husband will never suggest it again :)

ANSWER
2 years ago
Urg I wouldn’t have anything to do with them at all. I’m pretty cut throat in the way. No excuse for filth as grown adults 🤢

ANSWER
2 years ago
You could all have "gastro" just before Christmas eve