Update/follow up rant- ex left me because I wouldn’t have an abortion

Answered 4 years ago

My baby girl was born happy and healthy. We are both doing really well. Now I’m pissed at my ex again. He showed some interest in my later stage of pregnancy and the first week after she was born. Now it’s just silence. I’m angry, not at him but at myself for believing that he would be good enough to want to be there for her. No attempt to visit her, he hasn’t even asked what her name is. I sent him a message about the birth certificate last night and got back a message saying “I’ve been meaning to message you. Sorry I’ve been a shit person not staying in contact”. Didn’t even answer me about consenting to being on her birth certificate. I’m just so angry I believed he was coming around and would actually be there. I don’t have a question, just really needed to vent.

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4 years ago

What the hell is all this bullshit advise about make sure he signs the birth certificate and take him to court? Honestly, as someone who has lived through this, keep him off the birth certificate unless he wants to kick up a stink about it. Do not go out of your way to contact him. Do not chase him for child support (it's not worth it) and do not take him to court. If he wants to be in his kids life then he needs to be the one to make the first move and he can contact a solicitor. I finally stopped chasing my ex for this shit and haven't heard from him in 3 years and me and my kids are so much better off with out the stress of trying to convince him to be part of their lives. But now I want to travel over seas and can't because he refuses to sign passports and I have to deal with schools, day cares, centrelink and everything wanting their father's signature for documents and I don't even know where he is much less how to contact him. Do not put yourself through the stress. Don't contact him, nothing. If he wants it he will make a move. Oh and congrats on your baby girl x.

6 Reply

4 years ago

Wow. Brutal but yeah. I agree 💙

3 Reply

4 years ago

Sorry if it seemed mean, but I really wish someone had been this blunt with me before I went through it. I was pregnant with our 2nd when he cheated on me and stated he wasn't ready for family life and left. I spent about 6 months after bub was born pulling my hair out trying to convince him to be part of their lives and I eventually saw him for what he really was and walked away. Like I said, once I stopped initiating all the contact its been 3 years since I heard from him. He actually ended up with another woman and has kids with her now and is completely involved and apparently a great dad to them, so I feel for my kids but they have heaps of love and support. My 5 year old misses him sometimes but actually said to me the other day "mummy, I don't need my dad. I have you."

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4 years ago

I've been through the same. My children's father does have them though half of school holidays but he gets new gfs all the time and has other people look after the kids. I cant do anything about it.
But my points are I had to take ex to court to get passport signed and he doesn't pay child support. Child support agency is absolutely useless.
The children f Australia go without because theres no way of making an absent parent pay.

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4 years ago

Bless you guys ♥️♥️

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4 years ago

Congratulations on the arrival of your healthy baby girl <3

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4 years ago

Make sure your baby has your surname not his

2 Reply

4 years ago

This !!!!!!!!!

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4 years ago

Congrats on your beautiful little girl. There's not much you can do to make him want to be a father to her. Get his name on the birth certificate so he'll be paying child support no matter what he decides he wants. In the meantime, you just be the best mumma you can be and love the shit out of that little Angel of yours 💗 xx

3 Reply

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4 years ago

This is the thing about life, we often do exactly what you did, you’re definitely not alone. It’s ok to do what you did, having a child is so big and hoping for the best outcome is absolutely normal. I’m not sure what else to add except to say we’ve all been there on different things, moving forward you make the best decision you can at the time..often the one that make you grow the most is the hardest so bare that is mind when you are stuck with those hard ones. Congratulations on getting to this point, I hope you’ve been enjoying as much as you can and getting lists of sleep xx

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