View other questions

SAHM with a toddler, married to a cold, unempathetic, distant man. Should I stay or should I go?

Answered 9 months ago

I am a 26 yr old stay at home mum and have been with 29 yr old hubby for past 6 years. We have a little two year old girl together.
Can count on one hand how many times we have been intimate in past two years - he just doesn't get the urge apparently.
When I'm sick, he doesn't take time off work to help out, won't clean or take care of me or help much with our daughter.
If I'm upset or anything he just ignores me and keeps on scrolling through videos on his phone (facebook, reddit, etc).

Very cold, unempathetic and extremely distant. Like living with a brick wall sometimes. I wonder if he's on the spectrum?

Just getting over it. Feel like he's killing my "spark" but he's great with daughter and she LOVES him so I feel so much guilt over that :/


Have an answer?

We have held the answer in moderation, and will make it available shortly.
2000 characters left.

Answers

An unexpected error has occurred, please try again shortly.
ANSWER
9 months ago
Go. It doesn’t get better. Believe me. He will rob you of your years. You deserve more - you shouldn’t ask to be loved or touched. Your child is still so young that she won’t remember and you are also so young that one day you can move on too. I’ve been in a relationship like yours for years and am now on anti depressants and have gained weight due to me not caring anymore as I’m exhausted from trying. You get one life. Be happy. Your daughter still has love from you both, just you're not together.

ANSWER
9 months ago
Counselling. Try that first, He has issues, and needs to see how serious this is, Go alone even at first, I used Anglicare. They are cheap if you are on budget. Ask - I need to talk to you about something, can we make a time to go through a few things? then say are you happy? You seem quite switched off, and hassled. I aren't feeling very connected or supported. I made an appointment ith a counsellor at Anglicare *or wherever for Tuesday night after work. Ask about his dad and mum too

ANSWER
9 months ago
Go.
I’ve stayed and I regret it. Ours are 15, 8 and 3.
Should have left many years ago.
I promise you your daughter will be fine. She will still have a relationship with him as long as you continue to acknowledge he’s a good dad.

ANSWER
9 months ago
I would leave your happiness is important too! My first partner was on the spectrum he was also on drugs he was a nightmare after 9 years I left I needed to be happy.