Got an Answer?
Sending lots of love and sleep.
My husband started off really will with help, once we had kids and I stayed home he got slack. I think he felt a bit like he had to work so it was my job, I think he felt a bit resentful that I got to stay home "and watch day time tv". It took a while but he gets it now, and knows if I watch tv it's likely to be fireman Sam or pj masks. I trained it out of him. I have some suggestions and I hope it helps.
- Save some housework for when he is home, it might help him see you doing it all. I do most cleaning as soon as the kids are in bed.
- Ask for help, when he doesn't do what you asked, don't do something for him. Tell him you didn't get to it because you were doing what you asked him to do. This also works for him leaving his stuff or dirty dishes. (Sorry you have no clean clothes, I was too busy picking up after you to wash them).
-When he asked you for a meal, say no. Never make him that cup of tea EVER.
- Hand over some responsibility to. For example my husband is responsible for packing his lunch, I might pack left overs but it's not my job, I won't make him lunch. He is responsible for making sure he has clean ironed clothes for work. I usually do the washing and ironing, but he knows he has to make sure he has enough for the week.
Keep at it, don't do everything for him, let him deal with the consequences of being lazy.
You can't make him eat well, but don't cook a separate meal. Just think of him as another child you need to raise to be a functional adult. Good luck, it you are consistent it will pay off.
God forbid you should eat a fu****g vegetable!
I cook and prepare beautiful dinners. Roast meat with vegetables and what do you do? You put the meat on bread and leave a plate of vegetables there. What kind of example do you think that sets for our kids? It says "oh we don't need to eat our veg because dads not" and it says "even though mum said we need to eat them, dad still gets dessert even when he doesn't eat all his dinner, so we don't need to listen to mum".
Just, go away. I'm tired of having to try and guess what to buy to please you. I'm tired of always being the one to organise everything for everyone. We're a family of 5 and I've gotta think for 5 people all the time. Every waking minute. Are they fed, are their clothes washed, is that the shirt they wanted, has everyone got the right uniform, have I prepared everything for the next day, is there something on today that I need to special prep for. I'm happy to do that for the children because they're small. But you're a grown a*s man.
Bottom line hubby: stop being such a c**t or I'm walking. Step up and be an adult. And for God's sake, take your dishes out, wipe the piss off the toilet seat, and cook your own fu****g food if mines not good enough. I'm a house WIFE not a house SLAVE.
Or else, reason for divorce: "he was a pig disguised as a man".
F**k that, stop doing stop for him. Men like him wouldn’t last a day with me!
Oh honey, I could’ve written this myself. All my friends deal with similar- makes me think they are all pigs disguised as men and they don’t let us see how truly piggy they are until you are locked in with the marriage, house, kids etc
His mum warned me about this. She said "don't become his slave" (because FIL is the same way), but did I listen? No. Stupid me. Stupid him.
And, it does sound d like he learned all this from his father. I’m sorry, but do you want your sons to grow up and be like him? If something doesn’t change, then they will.
Subtlety make him step up: the bins need to go out or dish washer needs to be stacked, which would you like to do honey?
You married a toddler!
send his ungreatful arse out the door