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Make a list of all the jobs outside of work. Then have a night out where no one can storm off, and divide the list up evenly together. Maybe put one, 2 or 3 stars next to each job as a weighting system. Eg, 1.5 hours driving for drop offs is 3 stars. Taking the bin out daily is one star. Try and make it fair.
Cook food but dont make any for him. Dont wash his clothes. Dont do anything for him. Go to the gym, just say Im going out now and walk out. Hes a selfish pig and needs a wake up call before he finds himself divorced.
Op get the kids out of your bed to start. Put your gym memebership on hold and use the funds for date nights and a cleaner.
This idea is very much working against him and pushing him away more.
Sounds like they both need to concentrate on the relationship a bit before it turns to shit (more than now)
Him doing f**k all around the house is also a sign he is withdrawing.
Like I said get the kids out of the bed, rearrange your bedroom furniture and spring clean it.? Buy some new sheets and make it a nice place to be together. concentrate on your relationship, date nights and a cleaner . Reconnect.
Than as things become more stable at home get into the gym and pre organise girls nights for yourself maybe.
Having a tidy up together every evening for half an hour may work well. Can you car pool school runs?
Love it how a man acting like a low life lazy scum is the wife's fault.
Talk to him, explain how you feel.
If nothing changes just stop doing everything, take a break go to the gym, just leave the house work. Slowly give him more responsibility, pack the kids up take them to the playground and leave him a small list of jobs to do, but don't overwhem him at first. Let him see the consequences of not pulling his weight, go to the gym let him get the kids dinner if he doesn't he will have to deal with hangry kids. Ask him to hang some washing out on a Sunday afternoon, the washing should all be his things, if he doesn't hang it out he will have nothing clean to wear Monday. If you keep doing everything he will let you, the only way to fix this is by stopping! Just take baby steps and pretend you are house training him.
I used to have to ask all the time for some reason if he did a job he thought that’s bit that job needs to be done over and over. It’s frustrating but I’m afraid he is just taking advantage of you.
More to life then cleaning and washing all the time
I am like the man of the house
My husband and I sleep in separate beds and it’s not an issue.
Is it possible for either of you to reduce work hours?
Go to part-time work if you can. Get a mental health care plan, see a counsellor for tips to get the kids into their own beds and strategies on how to tell your husband to help out more.
You probably need more sleep as well. Go to the gym on your day off, have a coffee with friends, meal plan and cook in bulk to reduce stress on school nights. Tell your husband to pay for a cleaner. I agree with the other post- Don't wash his clothes. Some men have a sense of entitlement and have no qualms watching their partner work herself into the ground. It ends in disaster. Stand up for yourself
I doubt his new partner will allow the kids to take over the bed, sadly that’s possibly where this situation is headed.
Don't have time now but I'll try to get back and write more. Don't do anything yet to jeopardize your marriage. Your husband is your priority and speaking to him with respect will only enhance your lives together and bring you closer which is what you ultimately want. Chances are he's NOT a selfish pig, he's probably just a man!!!
You say he does things when you ask? That is extremely typical of a male. (Have you ever read men are from mats women are from Venus...may help you a lot!) I'll try to continue this with real practical advice when I have a moment...divorce is awful, you married him for a reason and you sound like this is salvageable and can blossom into a deep and real relationship... I'll be back asap. Keep going lady!xx