If you are staying with someone after an infidelity, you must have 100% trust. If there is no trust, there is no relationship!

I’m the cheater and have been having thoughts of confessing. My plan is to disclose in front of a councillor. I’m not quite sure how to this. I don’t want to break his heart I just want to give him an option and he deserves to know the whole truth if that’s what he wants.

Yes and yes....it will always be there. I do not bring it up. I made the decision to stay so it is not fair to bring it up 9yrs on. I dont 100% trust him, but in saying that he is fully aware that I am in a position to leave if there was ever 1 slight slip up

Yes, years ago, about 9 years?
He slept with a girl on a surf trip.
I suspect there were other lesser infedelities before that, possibly 2 other times he slept with someone. I found out about 2 other inappropriate conversations when I found out about the cheating.
Honestly at the time I half stayed cos I was stupid in love , young and scared of not being with him.

I fell pregnant in the pill about 8 months later.
It took a long time.
There was a lot of pain I went through mostly alone because bringing it up to him would have just done irreparable damage. When it did come up between us it always caused so much divide.

I’m now in a place I never think of it, only when prompted.
It doesn’t make me cry or really even hurt.
For him he had a lot of childhood demons.

I can honestly say I love him. I know his darkest parts and love him still.
It’s part of our story. We are happy, with a fantastic successful life.
It’s not a perfect relationship. But of all our friends over the last 13 years, we are literally the only couple still together.

It’s possible to move on.
Also I find when I do open up to people about it literally majority of couple have cheating in their relationship history. They just don’t talk about it when they stay.
Only people who tend to shout it from the rooftops are those who leaveS

My husband cheated on me 3 years ago. No sex was involved, I know because I found their messages. It was an emotional affair. He told her all the things he wasn’t happy about in our marriage and instead of her being supportive ( I strongly believe he was looking for a friend ) she said the most horrible things about me and our kids and told him he’d be happier with her. She kept flirting with him and he was loving it. Long story short I kicked him out. After two days of him crying and begging forgiveness I agreed to work on us if he told me everything. Seriously some of the stuff he was unhappy about was so easily fixed. He should have spoken to me not someone else. For two years it played on my mind and messed with my head so badly. I was a wreck. But he was all good coz he was happy now. He thought I should just forget it and get over it. I’m better now because I had to tell myself that she was winning if I kept being upset and angry. But, it changed the way I feel about my husband forever. I love him but Not like before.

I married 2013 he began seeing escorts 2013 and I found out 2016 forgave him and it all began again 2020. Kicked his ass to the kerb it never gets easier or better