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There is nothing wrong with staying together for the kids

Unless there is abuse obviously I’m not saying stay no matter what! ... but now women say oh I’m only staying with him for the kids I should go ... well I think it’s fine if that’s what you choose that’s ok! The kids are a reason and a good one too.

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Answers (9)

You children will never learn what a happy, healthy relationship looks like if you stay for the kids. My parents amd my SO parents both stayed married for the kids. My father was an abusive addict alcoholic. MIL cheated regularly, but FIL loved her so deeply he wouldn't break it off.
20 plus years later neither of us has ever had a healthy relationship with a member of the opposite sex and we both stay in our loveless marriage put of obligation. His brother just got divorced because his kids are 20s. His sister has 4 kids and 4 dads, never had a longterm relationship. My sister bought some sperm and got a baby after years of dating abusive men and sleeping with her hs ex who is married. My brother has just brought his first girlfriend home ever, and he's mid 30s.

Teach your children to persue love and happiness freely, and get some counseling so you can allow yourself to do the same. You get maybe 80 years on this planet. Don't spend 25 of them sacrificing your happiness for a flase sense if stability.

 Here here
helpful (1) 

If the parents still have a healthy relationship and are on the same page then why not?
If it's obvious that they hate each other then they need to do something. Kids are much better coming FROM a broken home than LIVING in one ❤️

I agree. I think too often the whole attitude stinks.
Kids need both parents and sometimes people need to suck it up and be adults.

 Yep, I agree. We made these little people, brought them into a situation they have no control over. The least we can do is follow it through and do the right thing for them for a few years.
helpful (2) 
 Being separated doesnt mean kids dont have both parents 🤷
helpful (1) 
 Very narrow minded suggesting kids won't have both parents if they separate!

My kids dad and I stayed together for 5 years "for the kids".
We argued constantly, we slept in different rooms, we tried to avoid being in the house at the same time as each other at all costs. He refused to come on any holiday or BBQ or outing I planned, and I refused to go to any social event or sporting event with him. Everything was separate but miserable!
Eventually we both said enough is enough, I moved out, we were such great friends afterwards because there was no pressure to keep living a lie! We took kids to things together, and years later my husband and I still catch up, they kids, and the ex still catch up all together! Kids got to see both parents happy and coparenting together smoothly. And they were not traumatized by separating at all!

helpful (0) 
 ☝🏻 That’s a bit different same with the first comment.
If it’s a shitty relationship whether there’s love on not impacts the kids.

My husband and I are together for the kids, and for us too I suppose, neither of us want to not wake up with our kids every morning.
We are like best friends who are housemates. We don’t argue , we don’t fight we aren’t mean, neither of us have “issues”
Iv thought about leaving for financial reasons only but it’s not fair that either of us have so many nights away from our kids when what we are doing works.

helpful (4) 

No I don't agree, you are modeling a "happy" relationship for your children. They will know you are unhappy & think this is normal. When they grow up & have their own relationships they will believe being unhappy is ok in relationships. Don't you want them to know what a happy relationship is? Or will you be happy knowing your son or daughter just stays with their spouse for the kids & puts their life on hold for 18 years?

 Why do you assume that people that stay together for the sake of their kids aren't happy? Our kids are happy, well rounded kids. Our home is filled with love, laughter and fun...it is no way toxic or volitile. We are a very close family unit and love spending time together (people often comment about how good our relationship is with our teenagers). My life is not on hold, I don't need a man or a relationship to have a life. Every situation is different, if it's abusive, if you're miserable then leave but don't assume do know or understand other people's relationships.
helpful (3) 

Will you filing for divorce after the youngests 18th birthday or when they finish school?

I think it's selfish and unfair on yourself, your partner and your kids.
Everyone deserves to be in a relationship that they CHOOSE. Not one out of obligation.
Your kids will grow up thinking marriage is a chore and obligation rather than a loving relationship between to committed and consenting adults.
I hate hearing "I'm only here for the kids" etc
If you were thinking of your kids AT ALL then you would have left already. If your saying your ONLY there for this kids then that means there is no love left for your partner.
Most times when people say this, it's because they want to leave but can't afford it.

Everyone deserves happiness and shouldn’t be living in a relationship just for the kids

 But if family life is your happiness I don’t see the problem. I see my relationship with my husband as more of a business one. We are a fantastic team but there is no romance.
helpful (2) 
 But lots of people stayingfor the kids aren't happy
helpful (0) 
 Wow that's really sad.
helpful (1)