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Do you feel like you don't belong?

I'm pretty sure I have social anxiety i've never been to a doctor about it but i'm self diagnosing myself. I was always a shy quiet child. My later teenage years & 20s it wasn't so much of a problem but now apart from my immediate family I don't want to be around anyone else. I don't like it, it makes my nervous because I always feel so out of place & awkward. I feel like I always say the wrong thing & everyone thinks i'm a weirdo basically so I stay in my safe zone & it's only getting worse.

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Answers (13)

Interesting that none of us feel like we belong, which makes us all belong.

 The irony 😂
helpful (1) 
 Yeah, let’s meet up!
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 Well I feel like I belong.
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Yep, have always felt this way. Like you, had a patch in my late teens and early 20’s where I loved socialising, now just feel awkward all the time and like no-one wants me around and feel like an idiot and stress over things I’ve said.

 This is me exactly
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 I feel like this a bit too. I think its partly I dont feel happy with my looks / weight after kids, partly Im heaps tired from work and kids, and partly because Im at a different stage in my life. When I was younger I was looking to meet a guy, now Im just looking for sleep hahaha
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I have a weird crooked smile so I don’t like smiling or laughing in front of people. I feel like they’re staring at me. Or laughing at me. I get nervous and don’t know what to say to people. I feel like they won’t be interested in anything I have to say. I was incredibly shy as a kid. Mum never let me do sports or have play dates or go to birthday parties. I think that’s a big part of me being uncomfortable around people, I never learnt to socialise. I bumped into a girl I went to school with 25 years ago. She said everyone thought I was a stuck up snob because I didn’t speak much. That really hurt.

 I was a shy kid too, pretty social now and have a big group of good friends, but im only comfortable with those people i know well. My husbands cousin thought i was a snob too when she first met me, im sure others have thought it but not said said it to my face like she dud! but im just not good with groups of people i don't know. Ive been going to an excercise class once a week for the last 6 months. Everyone there knows everyone, i don't know anyone. They all stand around chatting before and after and i just awkwardly stand there alone.......
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I don't get anxiety or feel uncomfortable in social situations but I feel like I don't belong. I know a lot of people but I don't have any close friends and always just feel like I dont fit in anywhere. I constantly hear people talking about their village or girls nights out/ weekends away and feel a bit jealous...I wish I had that.

 Yeah me too re the friends.
My husband is going away soon for his annual boys weekend away - mates that he sees only three or four times a year but has known for 40 years. I keep my jealousy hidden - I literally have no one to do this with, and if I did, I’d just be awkward & second guessing if I was doing/saying/acting the right way. I’d love a girls weekend away, but it won’t happen 😞

helpful (1) 

I feel this way too. I wasn’t always like this. When I was a kid I was out going and very social, then one day I had some friends say to me when I was about 12 “you talk too much and you’re really annoying”. From that day on I didn’t talk to anyone much at all. Sometimes I’ll find a person who just listens and is interested in what I have to say, so then I start opening up and back off because I become too comfortable talking to them. I always worry they will find me annoying eventually too. It’s impacted many friendships and relationships. These days I stay to myself and write a lot, it gets out my thoughts and I dont feel lonely.

 BIg hug. So sad that some stupid comment from years ago has affected your life so much
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Yes. It makes me avoid people because it's safer at home. It stems from several things, but mostly by put downs and being betrayed by people close to me.

To a point I've made peace with it. I do have a few friends but I'd dearly love to have a couple that don't just use me as a complaints or support centre when it suits them & just want to have fun. I'm actually quite extroverted when I am around people who I don't feel judged by or don't just want to whinge.

 Wow thank you I'm really feeling these answers. They sound really similar to mine. 💖
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 Actually thank you for asking the question. I wrote the above comment & these answers & your post make me feel less like there's something wrong with me.
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 No worries. I'm going into a situation soon where I'll be forced to socialize with lots of other people and yesterday the anxiety was high. I think it's good to know there's more of us out there. Maybe we're not as rare as we think. We should all wear a badge or something to identify each other lol
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Yes I always feel this ways. I’m very much an introvert and being around people outside my very tight circle gives me anxiety. I feel very awkward around people I don’t know . I’ve always been like this.

 Thank you for sharing. Does it bother you or have you just made peace with it?
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 It used to bother me but I’ve just accepted it now. This is who I am. Not all of us can be social butterflies.
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This is me too
No close friends sadly
I’m going through a bad patch in marriage & Ive been ‘reflecting’ a lot on my life - I’ve always been awkward & socially anxious it seems. One of the funny things I’ve noticed about myself is that I’m never comfortable choosing clothes to wear out (parties, events etc) and too many times I’ve felt out of place because of my clothing choice & for years now I’ve made excuses not to go out purely because I don’t know what to wear. Sounds shallow & silly but it’s true - I don’t feel like I fit in

 This is me too. I never know what to wear. Everyone else looks so stylish and I’ve never seen their clothes before but I’m wearing target clothes and I feel I’m being judged...tho I’m probably not!
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 Haha, me too! I end up with half my wardrobe strewn across my bed trying to figure out what to wear!
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Me too but I've made peace with it. Its become worse over the years but The friends I've had for years understand. If I meet anyone new, hubby tells them I'm shy

 Same. My husband will bring people around and I'll be quiet and not really talk to them and then they'll ask him later on if I don't like them because I don't have much of a conversation or anything...he just tells them it's because I'm shy. Once I know someone better I'll talk to them normally and have conversations but people think I don't like them until he says that's just how I am, then they come around a few times and we'll talk heaps.
helpful (2) 
 Yes I get that too. People think that i'm a snob too sometimes but it's not intentional. i take awhile to warm up to new people.
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 Me too. I have a resting bitch face too so it really doesn't help 😂
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I’m an introvert, I tend to avoid people where possible. I don’t have many friends outside my own family. Not because i don’t want to, just because i refuse to be friends with people who just [email protected] and whinge all the time. However, that being said i do like to socialise with people I’m comfortable with. It seriously all depends on my mood at the time.

I don't think its you. Ive felt like that in some groups but not others. I think its just finding the people that you click with.

I always avoid situations if it involves catching up with people who aren't my direct family.
But i also don't care about feeling like i belong or not. I just chill with myself 😂 95% of the time it doesn't bother me any