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Why am I still here?

I'm currently sitting in the lounge room listening to my partner in the other room throwing & banging things and muttering under his breath (loud enough for me to hear) all because he has ran out of weed and there is no money for him to buy any more. We seperated a few months ago for a while and I was so happy and relaxed but he sucked me back in with false hope and promises of things being different. I hate this relationship it is so toxic, constant fights over everything & no respect. Constant threats for me to "stop pushing him because I know what will happen" I don't want to be with this angry person. I'm sick of being constantly broke because he won't get a job & yet spends like there's no tomorrow. I want this to end but he won't leave. I've told him I'm no longer in love with him but he doesn't care, he says he is not leaving. The house is in my name & he has somewhere else to go I don't. I don't want it to get nasty but it will. I don't know what to do πŸ˜”

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Answers (10)

You call the cops and you get them to get him out then you change the locks, your phone number and social media.
You have done it once and you know you can do it again xxx

I been in the exact same situation I threatened to leave for months if he didnt stop the pot we also had kids that were older enough to know why their dad was going off his head . Then one day when he didn't have any left his anger turned to attacking me I rang the police and the police came we live in a small town so he knew the officer he wasn't charged but promised he would go to the doctor the next day for help for his addiction this was 2yrs ago now and he hasn't touched pot since he tells me now that calling the police was a wake uo call cause he realised how pot was controlling his mind we all forgave him as it was the drugs destroying him .I pray your partner can also find the strength to get help too.

Change the locks while he is out scoring. Change banks so you are the only one with access to the money and do it soon. Don't waste your life.

 Totes agree. Do it now! Get away from this asshole and don't look back. Be strong and good luck.
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Please call the police. Tell them he is breaking things and you feel danger for yourself and the kids. Get a Dvo and report every single breach or serious ones may not be taken seriously.
Don't wait, the first time it becomes physical could be fatal! One punch can kill!
He could take it out on the kids.
If the police will not remove him (some police are incredibly useless with DV) tell them they need to transport you and the kids to a shelter. take photos of every wall etc in the house before you leave in case he trashes it.
Your and the kids safety is paramount.

I still have burn scars from the first time my ex flipped.
You have done it once and you know you were better off xxx

I have been told weed isn't addictive

 Lol
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 I have been told fairys are real and live in my garden. I believe everything I hear
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 I think you were told wrong. It is most definitely addictive.
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 πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ that's cute
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We have kids, I don't want to involve the police but I know I'm probably going to have to. I'm just so angry at myself for ending up back in the same place again, he just doesn't even see the issues!

 Even more reason to call the police! If you feel you're in danger, RING THEM. And instead of being angry with yourself, go back to where you were (happy) and kick him out asap. If he doesn't even see the problem, then waiting for him to change is a big waste of your time.
helpful (2) 
 I don't feel like I'm in physical danger atm , just frustrating to have my belongings broken like it's no big deal.
helpful (1) 
 Him breaking your stuff and not seeing what the big deal is rings a major alarm bell for me. What will he do if breaking stuff no longer sedates his anger? My sister's ex started by smashing things. She waited until he started smashing her til she left him. Don't wait until he starts taking it out in you and/or the kids before you call the cops or leave.
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 Your kids shouldn't see it either, hugs, i know you can do it
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 I guess you just realised how silly this cycle is. It took you a few rounds, just like most of the tough life lessons we are learn! Don't be hard on yourself, make a stand and take it one day at a time. You are in such an empowered position right now, the house is in your name! It's all in your court so use it!
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Do you know any big muscly men who or even dad and brothers that can kick him to the curb?

Aawww babe, if he can break your things without a second thought, then it doesn't take much of a stretch for it to move onto other things/people in his environment. I think changing the locks is a good start, and leave his stuff at the place he can go. Have the police on speed dial. Put things in place to get him out. He has realised your strength and is now making it difficult to muster that strength again. You are strong and you can do this. Put you first, since he clearly isn't it. Much loves and take good care xx

Make sure your bank accounts are sorted. When he leaves, change the locks, put his stuff in the carport. Tell him you're in the process of organising a Retraining Order if he doesn't stay leave / stay away.

You need to call the police and possibly get an order against him. Change the locks and just stay strong. Write down how you are feeling, what he is doing and how it is now making your life harder. Any time you might want to go back to him read that. Then in a few months write down the changes you have noticed to back yourself up with how much better off you are without him. You can do it, stay strong and do what you need to do.