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Another woman is attracted to my Husband

I suspected it for a while, I'm not a jealous person by nature but I'm not stupid either. We only know her from our kids being friends at school.
Last year she leaned over me to look my Husband in the eye and tell him she is a screamer during sex and how much she loves sex.
My Husband hasn't given me a reason to doubt him in eleven years and I trust him completely. He doesn't even like her, she makes up ridiculously unbelievable lies, things like a computer glitch at Queensland Transport caused her to appear unlicensed so she called the CEO and said that the news wanted to buy her story so they paid her out $10,000 to not say anything. I think she is a pathological liar.
Anyway... She messages him ALL the time (wat u up 2 etc) and recently informed him that she loves giving head, she can't give it enough...
Is it too much to ask my Hubby to block her, forget she exists? Our kids haven't been friends all year.
I'm certain he would block her if I asked.
Not sure if I should ask

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Answers (46)

Or just wait until next time youre both there and she says something naughty and just turn around 'ohhh please just stop, youre embarrassing yourself' if she says anything about sex, mention that you've heard the local brothel pays well and has a job opening...

OP Lol! That was a good one
She is embarrassing herself too

helpful (3) 

He needs to text her back quite clearly telling her to "lose my number, never message me again or my lawyer will be the next point of contact"
Polite does not work with that type of person

 I agree, it's actually sexual harassment if she continues. If a man said things like that to me I wouldn't feel very uncomfortable.
helpful (1) 

Not unrealistic at all to me but I wonder why he has to wait for you to tell him to block her. Shouldn't he be able to see that it is inappropriate and therefore he should want to get rid of her anyway especially if he doesn't like her?

P.S. she sounds like a nut job! Be careful she doesn't try other crazy stuff if you and your hubby block contact with her!

OP He is a funny sort of bloke, he considers it inappropriate but at the same time he would think it was rude to block her.
Thanks so much

helpful (1) 
 Sounds more like he loves the attention, even if he isn't interested. And what is more rude, blocking her and sending those kinds of messages to a married man.
helpful (9) 
 I wonder, would he feel the same if the shoe was on the other foot?
helpful (7) 
 He should be prioritising your distress and the lack of respect to your marriage over his need to not appear rude to people that give his life no meaning...
Just saying...

helpful (8) 
 Agreed. How rude is it towards you when he does nothing to stop it.
helpful (1) 

Your husband should definitely block her, how would he feel if it was another man messaging you things like that? I imagine he would expect you to block him, It's inappropriate on her behalf and i would expect my husband to block her without having to be told to. He should be replying this is inappropriate please don't contact me again then block her. If i saw her in person and she said the same things i would tell her to stop talking like that you are embarrassing yourself

 I'm also curious as to whether he replies to any of her messages
helpful (11) 

Next time she does it message back from his account. Say, yeah I love giving head too, go into explicit detail all the things you two like to do to each other (even if it's a bit exaggerated) make sure she knows it's you sending it. Tell her you two do it everyday at least once, and there's not a piece of furniture in your house that hasn't been fu***d on (except kids rooms). She's trying to convince him that the sex is better on her side of the fence. Put her in her place!

OP Ha ha ha!!
Love it

helpful (1) 
 Lol, I told his ex who was doing the same thing, "You like my husband? You're not satisfied with yours?" She stopped.
helpful (3) 
 Hmm, I wouldnt recommend you start behaving like her, as this post suggests.
helpful (0) 

Yeah just explain to him you think she's into him and you're both too old for that immature, dramatic shit, can he just block her and you can both just get on with it.
It's not unreasonable.

OP 👌👌
helpful (0) 

If your husband isn't putting a stop to it, I believe he doesn't want it to stop. After a few unsolicited comments, he would have found a way to have her back off (if he was telling the truth about not wanting to talk to her) and it sound like she has made more than a few. I personally would be frustrated that he let this go on for so long and I would feel disrespected that he didn't stick up for me enough as his wife to tell the woman off. In fact, I would be furious at him.

I would lose my sh!t if someone spoke to my husband like that. She definately needs to be put in her place. Not only is it inappropriate to say to your husband, but in front of you?! That would make my blood boil. Tell her she is acting extremely immaturly and should direct her sexual energy towards a man who wants it.

Lol. He keeps her around cos he likes it. She's the back up ho.
I'd want to know how she got his number?
My husband doesn't give his number out or add women on facebook.
It's not "jealous" to see his behavior is wrong by allowing it.
I would have already blocked her to see if he gets funny about it, if he does you have his answer.

 My dad had lady at his work look up employee records to find his number. You sign a work contract that says you won't use work data for personal use.

He told her if she didnt leave him alone she would lose her job (she breached her employee contract by using his personal number to try and solicit sex was not for work purposes) . Seemed to work

helpful (0) 

I think you should give him "permission" to block her and then it is still him doing it (not you telling him to) but he isn't worried about being rude or whatever else. As for her, I would try to ignore her until the perfect moment to say to her that "sorry if my husband wanted to f**k a wh**e he would go to the brothel where they are at least professional. He doesn't though because our sex life is more amazing than anything you could even dream up, sweetheart".

OP Love this one too... Thank you
helpful (0) 

To start with if I had been in the room and heard that she would have been picked up and deposited ourside with a stern warning if she tried that again I will not be so polite next time. The next thing would be to never have anything to do with her. Another thing is I know my husband would never respond to anything she said and not a hope in hell he would ever want her phone number. He would just say what do I need it for. How do I know that? Because he would not even hold my hand or contact me until his divorce was finalised. They had been seperated for over 12 months. We worked together. This women needs to be given and knocked down a few pegs. Have watched my husband walk away and come over to me if a women started coming on to him. .

Omg I would have put her in her place already. Grab his phone and tell her to back off or smack the sl***y desperateness out of her,

OP I'm a bit timid to do that.
You definitely got a laugh out if me though, lol

helpful (1) 
 Exactly my thoughts I would have said F&$&k off haha
helpful (0) 

I'm having this same problem, with another I shall call her skanky hoe constantly texting and ringing my partner , all hours of the day/night, I trust him completely, it's her I don't, he has no interest in her what so ever and he doesn't answer her texts and calls much now since I have had several weeks of words about it, I would like him to have nothing to do with her but she lives in the same townhouses from other friends of his, what more can I do,his problem is he likes to help everyone , his mates are always ringing getting him to do stuff at all hours and he is so run down from it, they are all at least 25-30 years younger then he is, they all seem to think he is a single man which he hasn't been for 13 years, she has young kids our youngest between us Is17 and we never had any desire to have children together, he has no desire to raise young kids again, we are at waiting for grandkids stage of our lives, I think she sees him as such a helpful, smart , nice guy and as she has never seen or had one for herself, has set her sights on mine and would love to pick him up out of our lives and drop him into her own, but it ain't gonna happen, I've been really depressed over this for a few weeks but am slowly feeling better, I know my guy loves me and my kids, and isn't interested in her, I just wish she would get the hint and go away, stop ringing him at 8 am to tell him my kids got back at 6 , who cares it's not his problem he does not need to know this, we can sleep in, we have done the hard yards we deserve a sleep in, I'm told she needs support and help and her sister does that, well good but from where I'm sitting she isn't helping ,she thinks my guy is the one she should ring for that support, I say these woman should just bugger off and leave our guys alone

 Dude, if he wanted to stay away, he would
His friends are obviously in on it too
You need to set boundaries and if he cannot respect you enough to take your feelings into consideration, you may need to end it

helpful (6) 
 I've set boundaries after a few weeks of a good long chat and my constant telling him it's very disrespectful to me, and that it's just not a done thing, it's just his helpfulness, I've had to tell him the same thing with male friends , I don't mean to be rude but to me she is a sandwich short of a picnic, he has recently been crook with the flu and I took his phone off him and when everyone kept ringing and texting I told them all to bugger off and leave him alone for a few days, he won't be helpful to anyone if he has a heart attack or something
helpful (1) 
 Hell girl, open your eyes! He is helping his mates all hours of the day and night? He is going to her all hours of the day and night! His mates are a convenient excuse to get out of the house. You chatted with him for WEEKS about not disrespecting you? Obviously being respectful to you isn't a priority in his life. She rings him early in the morning. NO WAY should that be tolerated in a normal relationship. He is run down because he is exhausted keeping two women happy.
helpful (14) 
 He definitely isn't keeping 2 women happy, just me, he comes home all covered in grease and oil, and no he don't doing that just to cover up, I didn't need to keep discussing with him, I just chose to, he shows me all the texts that get sent between them both and even has the phone calls on speaker phone, he tells her no I'm not coming down I'm staying home, then whines cause she needs to chat about her daily problems she has, we all gave them I've gad a crappy life list a hgood stand at a young age, I cooked looked after my kids, didn't get help cause that's what I had to do, this thing can't cope, can't even go food shopping with kids, my partner does not help, they all just like that he is knowledgeable on a lot of stuff and he may have the answers that they need,he has several female friends but she is the only one as far as I'm concerned over stepping the boundaries, I say to him, you know she has feelings for you, he says yes but they aren't mutual, I have no feelings for her
helpful (1) 
 Sorry but this sounds extremely dodgy to me. It sounds like there's more going on and you are being quite naive.
helpful (9) 
 Cool story bro
helpful (1) 
OP Can you put his phone on silent maybe? Or if he can't, he can choose a ringtone just for her, make it silent?
helpful (0) 
 He is sleeping with her
Ask me how i know
No im not the other woman lol but ive heard same bs from my partner, found out over weekend him and the manky hoe have slept together

helpful (4) 
 She’s calling cos they are in a relationship
Not cos he’s just a helpful person
She won’t bugger off cos he doesn’t want her to

helpful (1) 

Why wait till he does it..
I did it.. took phone.. asked him if he objected.. he said no.. so i txted a very blunt answer..as if from he... then blocked her number.
No more problem.

Husband needs to lay it down for her, nice & simple, that he's only interested in his wife & please don't speak like that as it is disrespectful to you, him & the kids. If he refuses to do this..well you two need to have a talk about the boundaries in your relationship about what you think is ok & what is not. He might not know it's winding you up, as men are often pretty obtuse about that sort of thing.

Do your best to not engage with her on this issue as it will be perfect material for her to wind you up some more eg 'too jealous, so possessive, he must really like me if she's all worried'. Keep your relationship professional and solely about the kids, remove her from social media, and ask hubby to block her or ignore her, if she needs to communicate about the kids, then she can speak to you. Hope this helps - I once had to attend a training session with just myself, my husband & the trainer who was all gooey for my husband the whole weekend. He didn't even notice!

So, to recap: serious talk with hubby, he lays down the law for this 'lady' next time she tries her stuff, keep the relationship professional, all future contact regarding kids is through you.